Bittersweet - Lauren

It's always sad when a friend leaves. I have a friend who's moving to Florida in a few days, and yesterday was probably the last day the three of us will hang out. See, we like to go on adventures. We went to Barton Springs then adventured around Austin. It was really fun. =D But, it's bittersweet. I'm really going to miss these when he moves. Montanna and I have to find a new third who can drive us around, but it won't be the same. I'm gonna miss him. =( He's coming back to visit in December, but still. I hate that anytime I get close to someone new they tend to just leave. >> It's sad, and it sucks.

On another note... Almost Potter Camp! =D

Chance #2 -Nilsa

So now Matt has once again asked me out. It's pretty weird that he had to do that, since I was unaware that we had broken up. He seemed sincere though, so I said okay... but was it a mistake? If I'm gonna be with someone, I need them to pay attention to me. And you would think that the most attention would come in the beginning of the relationship. I guess I'm just worried, it's only been like a day;) But just based on last time, there was a little bit of a lack in the attention/talking/communication area. I'm not much for 3rd chances.

gahhhh!!!!!!!!!-Brianna

I'm going insane in this house.. literally i cannot wait til school starts again. I'll admit we fight more during the school year because there's a lot going on, but when we fight over the summer, they're huge fights. lots of yelling involved.


this is just stupid. okay so i asked to go to Florida/Georgia for two weeks with one of my best friends. its a long time and very far, but its with my best friend of 2 years. its not like it was someone else who i hardly knew, who jsut invited me out of no where. so anyways it was a free trip all expenses paid. i told her all the details, and gave her time to think. infact i gave her about 2 weeks to think. she still said no. i was mad but i got over it. Today my sister asked to go outta state with her BOYFRIEND, who she lost her v card to, for 3 weeks. my mom yelled at her, then said "fine"

is it me or is that just not fair?! like honestly think about it, compare them, if you had a daughter and she asked you to pick between letting her go fer 2 weeks with her best friend nd her family, or with her boy friend and no one else, which would you choose?! i've posted this on myspace facebook twitter nd even here, but once again, i state, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY MOMS THINKING!!

So since i was supposed to leave this up coming weekend, and im not, im trying to make plans, like going to nilsas house fer a few hours during the day, hanging at the mall, having shelby, lexi, or nilsa come over fer a few hours or spend the night... my mom yelled at me cause she doesnt want me making so many plans... shes really starting to piss me off.. like really?! im a fucking teenager, i can only do nothing for so long.

Martin leaves on Wednesday nd should be back thursady night. i was hoping to see him this weekend but no. first my mom said no. second. hes busy. its not fair! Alexis *my sister* gets to see her boyfriend like 5 days out of the 7 in the week. i know its easier fer her cause hes got a car and all but still.

im the kid my mom doesnt have to worry about yet she has a tighter leash on me than anyone else in this house. i dont understand why. im the one who has never sneaked out, never lied about where i was or who i was with, ive never come home with a grade lower than 71, im the one whos decided to "save herself til marriage" because of what my sister did, im the one who tells my mom everything that goes on in my life even though it seems as if she could care less. im the kid that has to act as two because my sister hardly talks to us anymore. yet she lets my sister go where ever with who ever when ever. its fucking stupid.

i dont think my sister understands what she has. she has the freedom to do whatever she wants yet she somehow found a way to fuck it up nd make my mom get all strict on us. even me, the one who hardly does anything bad minus forgetting to wash the dishes every so often. literally, the child anyone would kill for! im not trying to brag or anything but seriously! im an amazing kid! compared to 98% of teenagers out there, im practically perfect! but i somehow get stuck with a sister who lies, cheats, sneeks around, talks to much, tries to act like an adult, and thinks shes old enough to do whatever she wants. but you know what? if shes old enough to have sex, she should be old enough to pay her own bills, get a job, or even learn to fucking clean up after herself!

God... shes so fucking immature for a 15 year old... or maybe im just to mature for a soon to be 14 year old.

i just hate how i got stuck with a sister whos my total opposite. i know everyone says you should love your family and blah blah blah but honestly? its hard to love someone who causes so much pain, heart break and disappointment.

sighh i think ive let all my frustration out... now if only Martin would text me backk... :(

..wait i cant dance! -Brianna

okay so thats true but that has nothing with what im about to talk about.. like at all. so my boyfriend is in LA fer the week. it sucks cause he can hardly text but i understand cause i know hes out there having funn. okay so he just texted me :) anyways.

not much is happening at mi casa, its the same old same old. go to bed around 3-4, wake up around 11, watch tv, get on the computer, clean, sleep. oh and in there i manage to fit text... a lot. but ive gotten a new neighbor recently who happens to be one of my very close friends. so im helping fer move in. shes taking boxes over today nd in about 20-35 mins im going over again to help her :)

when shes in and settled, which will be by at the latest tuesday, were gonna be able to have movie nights all the time, my mom and hers can make coffee runs, with donuts like they did last... in 7th grade. we can movie nights til 3 am and then i can walk home or she can walk home, or we can stay the night since were just down the street. its gonna be really awesome

i just cant wait til school starts, like now i wish i was going to manor high, cause now much fun would it be, to get ready with haley, nd then wait at the bus stop together, and walk in on our first day with already so many inside jokes. that and martin's still not into new tech which sucks a lot. like its my education, but i really am thinking about just transfering to manor high cause i dont wanna try a long distance. so i guess well just see how it all goes :)

now i am off to go unpack boxes with my neighbor :D

everythings perfect-brianna

hearts... again... everywhere. but then theres some more in places where theyve never been. although ive loved someone before ive never been IN love. i thought i was with jason, but martins ... quick change in subject nilsa was just currently rubbing lotion on my arm got any mental pics guys? ;)... so different. like hes not afraid to just randomly text me and tell me he loves me, or call me his baby girl. or anything very cute :) so at my house theres something wrongg.. my mommy cut off the internett.. well sortaa. shes just changing companys so in the meantime, while we wait...nilsas starring at me... we have no internet making it just a weee bit harder to survive the summer bore. its sad... but you know.. i'll live... ha anyways monday i found out that one of my best friends is moving in literally down the street from me. i love it! im helping her move in on friday and she'll literally be just 30 seconds walking distance. i can go over 24/7 she can come over 24/7 its gonna make my summer.. no wait martin already did thatt:)) okay well me nd nilsa are about to go watch a british movie and drool over their accents so goodnight and goodbye... <- jonas brothers song... havent listened to them in a whilee.. oh the memories... :)

Missing Her - Lauren

It's been a year now since I last saw my best friend. She came down last June and stayed for three weeks. I miss her so much... She's my best friend, my sister, my shoulder to lean on when things get rough, she's like my other half, and I miss her so much... I would do anything to have her back here and away from her hateful parents. I want her back here with me. <\3 she should be here. It's where she belongs. And now... Instead of sending her down for some part of the summer her dad wants us to wait till Christmas break? And I don't know if I see my dad being cool with that. She's my sister, being with her on Christmas would be the greatest, but my dads very big on family time. Which is good generally, but I consider Sam some of my closest family, and he does not. >> I don't want to have to wait until Christmas time to maybe see her... I want my best friend back. Now.

Today was a fairytale -Brianna

I think it was today :) haha okay well first martin asked me out at midnight.... he wrote me a poem to do it :D it was sooo beautiful I'm really sad we cant put hearts here, but if we could there would be about 20 of em right about here <-ha kidding.. but seriously. hes like super amazing and now i cant wait til we see each other in person. yesterday we were like joking around but we literally planned our life together. I'm gonna be an actress/singer owning a 14 bedroom 20 acre house/lot living with Cesi, Lexi, and Nilsa, and then my bro, Isaac and martin. Mark*my bro* is gonna be an artist, Martin is gonna be a basketball player fer the LA Lakers :D us four girls will all be doing something in the entertainment industry, and Isaac is the maid. me and martin are gonna have two kids of our own, one boy, one girl, and then adopt one *not sure if its gonna be a girl or boy yet* and after he wins his games, I'm gonna run down to the court with the kids and he'll kiss me then the kids, then we'll drive home. and then every chance he gets hes taking the kids to all my concerts :D isn't it nice? well my attitude totally just changed cause i found out were going out to dinner as a family.. :).... with Stephen.... bull... i am off nowwww...

Father's Day -Nilsa

In my personally opinon, fathers day is a lot like tomatoes. Like... tomatoes are awesome! They protect against cancer, they're great for you, and basically, they're a marvelous thing entirely. But somehow, by my taste, they're just... not good. They gross me out and they have a weird flavor. I'm happy for those people who like them... those people who eat tomatoes, and have dads to love. I love it that they have that, but... it's not for me. I can't really help but be grumpy.

What makes it all worthwhile - Lauren

So, I had 8 people at my house today. 8 Loud, Obnoxious, rude, perverted and Foul people at my house today. These are the people That I call my friends. I hosted an Anime Marathon, not that we did all that much watching of actual Anime. We put it on and made fun if it, laughing uproariously and having a great time. We went from one till 10:30, when the last person Left. Gerda, Joe, Paul, Marlena, Darwin, My brother Jim, his 'friend' Ashley, Nilsa and I all had an amazing time bring huge dorks and laughing at the most perverted stuff. A portion of us pitched in and we bought the entire series pack of the powerpuff girls. (Nilsa has a share in it toooo) We got caught in the random texas ten minute rain doing it and it soaked us all, but it was worth it. ^_^ We had an amazing time.

And it's nights and friends and times like these that make all the shit worth living through.

I don't know how anyone could ever want to give that up.

I had a friend tell me she was considering suicide, (I won't go into details, no one needs to know who or why.) But... It just made me wonder what could be so bad that someone would voluntarily give all this up. I know things suck sometimes, but I'm a firm believer in 'it's always darkest before the dawn'. If you can make it through the shit that seems so bad to you, then when you get out then nothing ever seems as bad because you've had that moment of complete blackness and you go 'well, it's better than that at least'. The funny thing? even in my moments of complete blackness... Nothing ever seemed worth giving my life for. I know there's always more to live for and things to do, people who I love who it would make me too sad to think about not ever seeing again.

Even if you feel like you have nothing and nothing is worth living for. Take a real hard look around you.

People have friends they take for granted, family they love but don't always like, pets, neighbors, hobbies, favorite flavors of ice cream, think about never seeing any of that again.

How does that not just depress you?

So, nothing would ever be worth it to me to just give my life up for a silly emotional reaction.

So no worries my friends (those of you who are my friends anyway, and I suppose to thse of you i haven't met yet as well I guess too. XD) You don't have to worry about me going anywhere for a long long time.

The "L" Word -Nilsa

I know that I'll find... "L" at some point or another. The thing is, I just know that I have fallen in "L" before but not with someone I should've fallen for. So I need to find it again. I know that I'm only 14, it shouldn't be high on my To-Do list, but I just wanna prove that it's possible to fall for someone else.

Boys, Boys, Boys... -Brianna

I don't understand them... they're so... complicated. Let me give you a list of how complicated my "love" life can be. One, Jesus. Two, Jason. Three, SETH. FOUR. MARTIN. four guys I have to juggle with. jesus, were never getting back together, thats a duh! moment. but he's been calling me behind his girlfriend's back and it bugs me because of what Jason and Seth did to me. Jason, we broke up and I feel terrible about it, but theres no possible way we can get back together, it's out of my control. you know? Seth: lying, cheating, jackass. nuff saidd. Martin, oh geez.. Martin. hes so... perfect. and amazing. and sweet. and the worst part? hes so considerate of everyones feelings. So I listed perfect amazing and considerate of everyones feelings. Why is this a bad thing? Because that's whats keeping him from asking me out. He likes two other girls and he doesnt think it's fair that he goes out with anyone while he likes anyone else. But I mean hey, if it's ment to happen it'll work out. It always works out fer the best rightt? :)

everything can change in 24 hours -Brianna

for example. i found out Seth was cheating on his GIRLFRIEND.....with me. yes.. he had a girlfriend. names Leana I think thats it. wanna see our convo?
me: hey uhh.. someone told me to ask you about someone named lena? idk.. but im askingg. (sent at 5)
*no response**
me: hey movies are canceled on sat. sorry *sent at 7*
seth: y *sent at 7:05*
*our texts were constant now*
me: just changed plans..
seth: y
me: we just did its not that big of a deal jeez..
seth: wow ur lying
me: okay whatever you dont have to believe me i really dont care anymore
seth: whats with the attitude
me: ask lena she might know
seth: okay idc. whats your problem? you knwo what i dont care yer not my problem anymore. and spell her name right damn.
seth: oh and its over
me: naww reallyy?? okay but see i dont understand why yer getting all pissed at me im not the one who did this shit. *sent at 11:something*

still 12 hours later, havent heard anything from him. oh well. like he said, im not his problem hes not mine. i dont care. im just pissed he did this. clean slate... gone. hes full of himself anyways..

so right after i got the "spell her name right" text jesus called me. outta the blueee. just called me. he told me seth is being a "dick wad" lol. it was fun talking to him but its like, why are you calling me tonight, when im crying and sounding horrible? but at least i got to talk to himm.

so after we hung up, i started texting martin. yes martin. hes so amazingg. he sorta asked me out but he said hes giving me time from boys cause of what seth did. ha. i do like martin but him nd lexi, i dont even wanna bring it up to her. like thats back stabbing her. sortaa... but i guess we'll just see what happens :)

thats about it.. i guess. i sttiiiill dont know my answer fer fl, but as soon as i know ill blog about it. even if its just 3 words. haha :))

SO Symbolical -Nilsa

So yesterday I was playing a video game. "Super Smash Bros: Brawl." Ever heard of it? I was at some party. The only person my age locked himself away in his room, all the adults knew eachother, and were also smoking, and my mom was there with Irwin so I wanted to give them some time alone. Thus, I played video games with the children! I honestly didn't mind.
Most of the time I played as Zelda, like I always do, and was generally kicking buttocks. The 12-er-13-year-old kid was pretty darn good though. It pretty much always ended up just him versus me (the others had ran out of "lives") and I probably won a ratio of 1:3 games. Yes, that is the way that I think. At one point, I transformed into Sheik (Zelda's alter ego) for a bit, if only to confuse the little boy who was trying to figure out how to play.
"Who's that?" He asked. "Sheik," I said, "She's Zelda's alter ego!" I said this last part in a mysterious voice. Nobody really could of guessed that my mind was far off, back in the old days of playing "Super Smash Bros: Melee" at my best friend's house. She used to play as Kirby, but one day she saw me become Sheik and decided that playing as her looked awesome. I didn't like this for some reason, but I tried to take it as a complement. I remembered her occasionally switching to Zelda and saying "Fighting Fire with Fire" under her breath. I tried to do the same thing after a few hours, but she got quiet and started attacking harder, so I switched back.
Now here I was. Playing Super Smash with a whole new crowd. In the next round, after I had taken a shot with Sheik, my main competitior (12-er-13-kid) decided to try her out. She is pretty tough, after all.
Lemme tell you something real quick, before I move on: In 7th grade, I had the 5th highest GPA of the year. The only other girl who beat me was her, and I cheered very, very loud. Whenever we would both make friends with the same girl, I would be second on her list of Myspace "Heros." She would be first. Get the picture? Now back to the story:
The scene was all too familiar. Sheik violently kicked Zelda up in the air repeatedly, finding her weakness. We fought and fought. Sheik occasionally wasted one or two of Zelda's lives. I chased her around if she ever left me, and we would fight again, throwing any other character who got in our way of the screen with the push of a button. In the end, of course, it was just us, battling it out for the high chair, the queendom. We each had only one life left. We had to be careful. Each move was carefully planned out as we flew across the screen together, back and forth. Then there was a moment of silence. I was on the far left of the screen, her on the right. She picked up an arrow, and began to walk toward me. I tried to throw fire at her, but messed up repeatedly. I could feel the end coming near, but I still had hope. I still tried to use Zelda's magic to knock her down just one more time. I turned around, beginning an elaborate, time consuming move. She approached me, and quickly, with no change of facial expression what-so-ever, not even having to think about it... stabbed me in the back.

I got second place.

Happy Summer!

Oh Jesus... -Brianna

I wish upon every little twinkling thing up in that big blue-black sky of ours that I can go to Florida and Georgia!! I find out tonight if I can go or not, if I can, I've got 5 days to pack, because we leave in 6. how can I pack for two weeks in 5 days?? packing takes time... especially for us girls. But anyways so yes, tonight I find out if I go or not. It's up to my grandpa I guess. really, if he was my dad, I'd be screwed.

But anyways so heres what I've been up to, I went to seths party on saturday. it started at 4... i got there at 7. make the boys wait ;) haha. me and lexi were the only girls there which made it soo much easier to turn them on... and trust, we DID turn them on. lexi had a jollyrancher, and I took it with my teeth, from her mouth. haha. the guys were all like freaked out, and martin and seth asked if we were bi, we replied "we just know how to have fun" muahaha anyways we had a water fight and it was soo much fun. the only thing that pissed me off a little was that seth kept squirting me down my shirtt. but i guess boys will be boys. sadly, he didnt once kiss me or get even close to kissing me. but I guess I wont complain. we're going to the movies on saturday with Lexi and Kenneth and we're just gonna chill until like 4:30 cause that's when I have to be home x(

Last night I stayed up talking to seth 'til almost 1 AM half the time I was like half asleep. he asked me what I first thought of him when I first saw him that one day on the bus. I told him the truth, I didnt really pay attention to him. He told me he had confidence and knew we would go out one day, and that he thought I was beautiful :) see things like that make me feel... I don't know, but I got this feeling in my stomach. like out of the 3 guys I dated this year, not one could call me beautiful and the fact that he still tried to get with me when I was with jason was... and is... flattering :)haha
But anyways we pulled his charm yesterday and said while playing a baseball video game "If i strike this guy out, were going out."


he got his strike out, i got my guy :)

Hey, guys!-Claudia

Hey, everyone! I'm Claudia, one of Nilsa's friends from church. She invited me to this blog a while ago, but I just haven't decided to make a post until now! I'm 14 and I just "graduated" (it seems cheesy to use that word for middle school, but whatever) from Kealing and now I guess I'm going to LASA at LBJ in the fall. My home school is McCallum, and sometimes I wish I was going there with all my friends, instead. It definitely would be a lot less pressure there, but I guess I can always switch schools....we'll see how that goes.

I live in North/Central Austin, right by the railroad tracks, which I adore walking along, laws be damned. I love downtown Austin and it's where I spend most of my free time, SoCo, Sixth Street, The Drag...hooray! I also love reading poetry and philosophy, writing stories and poems, drawing, and photography.

I also really like nerdy things like comic books, Harry Potter, and the interwebs, which I probably spend way too much time on.

I really don't have that much drama going on in my life anymore. I have three best friends from school, Elizabeth, Deborah, and Erika. We used to be in this huge group of people who hung out together, but you know how stuff in middle school goes...you lose friends to fights, drugs, and other people and that's just the way it is. Anyway, I'm much happier now with a small group of friends who are nice people and who I can always count on.

I don't have a boyfriend, though...never have had a REAL boyfriend, really. I've never even kissed anyone except for, like, Truth or Dare which doesn't even count. I mean, guys ask me out and everything, but I guess I just find guys my age...disappointing. That makes me sound kind of stuck up and annoying, but it's true.

My parents are divorced, but I hate it when people pull sympathy faces about it, I'm actually really glad they are, because when they were together it was hell. I have two little brothers, who are adorable yet irratating, and one older half brother, but he lives with his family and is old enough to be my dad, ha.

Anyway, this was just an introduction to me, hope it was okay! :)

How does this happen? - Lauren

What do you do when one of the people closest to your heart honestly tells you that talking to you is pissing her off?

Shea's been ignoring everyone since summer started, and we've all been seriously worried about her. She won't talk to most people, and when she does it's short 1-3 word texts which on a general basis she hates. We all know something's wrong, but she Wouldn't tell anyone. I talked to her today all cheerful and wanting to see her, and she tells me talking to me is pissing her off and this: "And I'm not going to the park tomorrow, despite being free, because that's all your friends, and I'm well aware of the fact that they would much prefer to not talk to me. I don't care anymore, Lauren. I just don't." and Logs off. I talked to Marlena and she said she'd talked to Shea earlier that day and she said that Shea "basically feels unwanted and ignored. She thinks people intentionally exclude her." even though I keep inviting her to things and every time i talked to her i said i wanted to see her. I don't understand her tantrum, Me, Jenny, Joe, Gerda, Dylan, we've all been wanting to talk to her, but she won't, and I don't understand how she feels ignored when she's ignoring us.

I really don't know how to feel or what to do when someone I really cares about decides I suck and I'm not worth talking to. It really, seriously sucks, and I feel like crap because of it. I don't know what to do, there's really nothing I can do, but sit here and wait.

I hate waiting.

I hate feeling like this.

I need a break from the break...

My Summer - Lauren

My summer's been interesting. Thursday before we got out of school i went on an adventure in the park with Gerda Karen Stephanie and Jenny, Saturday was Graduation, I went with Choir and sang the nation anthem, I hung out with all my amazing choir friends before, it was awesome. my choir friends are the best. XD I can't wait for Acapella next year. And I cried, a really good friend i've known forever and the guy i like were graduating. Sunday Jenny had a pool party only attended by Me, Kristina, and Paul. I had briefly met Kristina before, but hadn't talked to her much and never met Paul, Kristina hadn't either, but we all got along really well. Then I did absolutely nothing for an entire week but hang out with my family and watch farscape, and i was BORED OUT OF MY MIND. then yesterday Kristina Paul and I got together at Kristina's house and hung out, I found out I suck really bad at first person shooter video games (Halo and Gears of war at least), we went for a walk, just hung out. Then they got into a cotton candy fight. It was a little odd because I get the feeling they like eachother, but haven't necessarily noticed it yet. I felt a bit like the third wheel (a feeling i'm getting tired of feeling). Then today we were all supposed to hang out again, but Montanna kidnapped me to go and hang out with her and Argenis, we went on an adventure to marble falls and went berry picking. XD then we made pocket pies with them. It was yummy. Apperantly Gerda and Dylan showed up at my house while i was out to see if i wanted to go get smoothies with them (which is awesome because Dylan's nickname is Smoothie) but i was at Montanna's house baking. >< The only day i'm busy, everyone wants to see me. Oy.

Things at home have been weird, we're completely broke and it's stressing everyone out to a major level, I have been trying to get out of the house as much as possible. But it doesn't work so well. ><
My best friend (who lives in Louisiana) is going into the hospital tomorrow for surgery on her knee, yet again (She broke it once and it never healed right, now about every six months or less it acts up again and they have to go in and fix it), and that's got me nervous as all hell. I wish I could be there for her more than anything. When we were little, every time she'd get sick I'd bake her cookies and walk them down to her house, one time through a thunder storm. I was always there when she needed me, when she was sick, and she for me, but now... It's like I don't even know until After, and I hate it. I miss her so much. I haven't seen her since last summer. We're both broke so we don't think we can get anywhere. It sucks so much, I wish more than anything else I could be with her when she wakes up from her surgery. I really, really do. I don't know what I'd do without her, She's my everything.
The guy I like is moving this summer, leaving in august, but while as a friend I'm bothered that he's leaving, I'm ok with the 'just friends' pact we talked out. Since he's leaving and such. I told him I liked him, he had indirectly told me he did before when we went on the blind date montanna set up with 'someone who likes me' (her words), but we're staying just friends. I think I'm ok with it, I mean... There are a couple of things about him that bug me. He's catholic, which comes with a mess of stuff including a deep distaste for gays, and considering I'm an athiest and my best friend is a lesbian... I'm not so ok with that. and he uses the word Nigga a lot, jokingly, but it's weird. I think I'm ok with everything. Stressed out in general, but ok. =)

Summer! -Nilsa

So, it's summer. It's okay, but of course not as great as I thought it would be. People are always busy. One person I suspect just doesn't want to see my and others... well it's complicated.
Matt still hasn't called me, by the way. Sleeping late is pretty grand. I really just want a job to get my mind off of things.
I'm mostly just thinking, occasionally reading. I've yet to play my guitar. I should go play right now and yet... I'm still typing. I dunno. Talking on the phone with Brianna is fun, but I'm starting to worry: will she ever find a guy that I really approve of? I mean, it's only my opinion, but for real, I want her to find Mr. Perfect... someone who she can last at least a month with without him causing worthless drama.
I've been to the mall once, been to Fah's house twice. I've thought about highschool, and written some poems about middle school and other stuff. It's a satisfactory summer, but if only it could be a perfect one! Maybe if I had the money to go to Massachusetts... all my friends there are so casual (and so are their parents!). Like, *ring-ring!* "Hey, wanna hang out?---- Cool be there in five!" Hanging downtown is amazing; they have no idea how lucky they are.

#$@%$-Brianna

so i raised the phone bill up to $400 :( im dissapointed in myself. i used like almost 1200 minutes last month. thats waayy to much. my mom says shes gonna cancel my phone but i think shes bluffing. its an extra $160 to cancle it so i guess we'll jsut see what happenes. so for the summer i got invited to go to Florida and Gorgia for two weeks. i reeeeaalllyyyy wanna go! like soo bad, but now after what i just did, i dont think thatll happen which really sucks cause i need to leave this... pathetic excuse for a town :) *lyrics from a song* but anyways i wanna leave because first. im tired of wasting 3 months of my life every year. its like... stupidd. and second, i need to leave texas. theres so much thats happening nd i cant handle it. things with my sister, my mom, my grandpa, and of course things with jason and seth. yesterday i almsot snuck a guy into my house. a guy that isnt my boyfriend. im 13 i shouldnt be doing these things! im so different and i like it in some ways. like now im more spontanious but like in bad ways. its only been 1.5 weeks but this sucks im so tired of being at home. like im glad we get breaks but i wish they did it differently. i really wanna go to get my mind off things. things that happened yesterday and yes, things that happened saturday. saturday. oh lovely awful saturday. i went to the mall with three very close friends. Shelby Nilsa nd Seth. we decided to watch a movie, so we walked over to the theater. we watched killers. the parts that i saw it was really good. not exactly funny but it was agood movie. the parts i didnt watch? well... i was making out with seth.. yeah... we made stupid excuses to walk out of the theater together, and then we made out. but thats not all i.. we did. i cant say it yet. but its badd. very badd. but i can admit one thing, seth? yeah, much better kisser than jason. nd it felt right. so i broke up with jason. but im not with seth... officially. nd i was supposed to go to his house on sat. but i got in trouble so i cant leave this house without my mom there. but im hoping to get on her good side fer the next two weeks so that a. i can go to the mall with lexi garza and seth next sat. and b. i can to go to florida and goriga.

"But the summer is a bummer
If you can't leave
This pathetic excuse for a town"

was i blind? -brianna

or did everyone see this coming? did I See this comingg?? no. i didnt. i think its stupid. if you really love me this wouldnt be happening. why is it happening again? i dont want it to happen. i want it to go away. i want this feeling to stop. i want the tears to stop. i want it all to stop. i want summer to go away, summer, the pain, the tears, the "confusion" everything. i want it gone. i especially want summer gone. i hate it. its stupid. i want to go to school and see him. i wanna see my friends. i dont want to be home for 106 days without doing anything... no im not doing thatt. thats why i got a gym membership yes? yes... thats why im going first thing in the morning nd blow off this stem... but maybe this will make me stronger... like make me realize that with him you really dont know what to expect... nd i hate that so much. i mean i like it cause its spontaneous but like its with the bad stuff.. i already know when hes going in for i kiss, i know when hes trying to hold my hand, and i know when hes not gonna let me go. but i never know when hes going to break up with me, i never know when the day will come when he'll tell me to leave him alone cause he hates me. i never know when his top will blow and... strike IM out... me and jason are on pause til freshman year... will we actually get back? no promises... :'(

Prom&& the last day...-Brianna

Prom was amazing!!! i danced i sang and i got a ring :) first off, we snuck lexi into prom. the best thing ive done this year... second best *1st is going out with jason** then for the first time in forever i actually danced and the dance. and i danced with my friends, and my boyfriend. it was fun. and with some songs, we just sang at the top of our lungs. then like halfway through the dance jason gave me the surprise. it was a ring. its.. beautiful. its a light purple *my favorite color** and its huuuge! i love it. i love him! thennn you know how its suuper romantic when people kiss in the rain? well there was a huge storm last night and i got my fairytale ending to a perfect day. but just FYI, it doesnt feel any different. just cooler cause your face is getting splashed with rain drops :)) but then he had to leavee but its cool. anyways so today was the last day of school and it sucked. i mean it was loads of fun but extremely sadd. jason was in my first period that lasted 2 hours but most of the time he was playing the wii. but when we were talking it was fun. then he walked me to the stairs when it was time to go to 2nd period. Cesi went to my second period and it was fun. it was me her lexi oscar yahaira and deandre. we brought up all of our inside jokes and of course, we cried. me nd cesi first started crying cause thats the last time we had to hang out in the halls it sucked. i started crying at 12:45 i didnt stop til 1:30. but anyways jason told me to wait for him outside and he never showed. he later texted me and told me his aunt picked him up early. 5 minutes before the buses left i was jesus. he looked at me, then his girlfriend, then walked away. im extreamly sad he didnt say by ebut i guess it doesnt matter anymore right? right.. i stayed after school with nilsa nd we had an adventure :) it was scary but looking over it it was fun. but anyways im super sad its over but like Dr. Sues once said "Dont cry because its over, smile because it happened"

So, It's Official! -Nilsa

Yep. I am officially "with" Matt (also known as Riley). I feel bad though... this time for Ryan. I'm not usually the type to move on so fast, nor do I want to be. I just didn't want to pass up on something that could be something good.
But does he even like me? I can't tell. I gave him my number when he asked for it, which means I have to wait for him to call. I guess that's a good thing; I don't want to be the one to call first. But who knows if he ever will. It's my first long-distance thing, and I'm kinda worried. He also never gets on Facebook... I'm determind not to be someone who ends up in a relationship only for the comfort of not having to break up.