i perfer guys who ask me out in person
but im setteling for him, who asked over FB
I love it when guys hold my hand
but im setteling for him, who hardly makes eye contact
I love it when guys wrap their arms around my waist,
but im setteling for him, and his arm around my shoulder.
I like a guy to smile at me randomly,
but im setteling for him, and his lack of eye contact (YES I STATE THAT AGAIN!)
I perfer holding actual conversations with guys i have relationships with
but im setteling for him, and his lack of communication.
I prefer guys who can make me smile,
and make me happy,
and give me butterflies
and make me feel special
and like im a princess
or even better, a queen.
But im setteling for him, because he likes me.
I perfer guys who get good grades,
who dont make me look stupid
or too smart
but im setteling for him and his lack of work.
I like guys who just hug me, just because they can.
but im setteling for him and his lack of affection.
I love guys who make me happy.
but im setteling for him and his lack of... joy.
My friend Jesus asked me out, and i said yes.
its late in the year and its pointless to have a relationship so late,
but ive been single for so long, i think this will help me appreciate it.
I doubt we're gonna last,
but i mean why not right?
i told him i dont want anything serious and i dont.
We've been going out one day and i already dont feel happy.
he doesnt make an effort to hang out with me.
i have to go with him and his friends,
where i feel totally out of place.
and where i feel like just a peice of arm candy.
im not happy,
but im setteling.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Wow.
So its been just about a month since anyone has posted here.
isnt it crazy how fast time goes?
well a lot has gone down to.
a lot of pointless drama i can hardly remember but its high school
what else should i expet right?(:
Well i'll tell you the major things that have happened
1. color guard got third place in states(:
2. Oscar has stopped texting me
3. i finally got my dress(:
4. Ive matured..(:
so One, we went to states on April 2nd. it was such a stressful morning.
i forgot my earings, so my mom had to go back home get them go back down to Huston, then give them to me,
once i got them they fell and broke
i had to use eyelash glue to fix them,
then right before we went on to preform i remembered that i forgot one of our probs. luckily Will went to go get it
so obviously, i had a bad feeling about the show right?
I stated crying in the middle of it, and at the end of it, and at the end of it, almost everyone on the team was.
it was crazy.
when awards came no one cared about the scores, we knew we did our best and we couldnt take it back or redo it. we placed third with almost a point sperating us and the other two teams.
it was crazy. Its by far without a doubt one of the most amazing memories of the year.
TWOOOO:
Sadly, it sucks a lot. Since Mardi Gras a lot has been going on at home and with family. and so it sucks that thats around the time that things started to majorly change for us. You know like when i needed a shoulder to lean on the most, hes gone. But i know things happen for a reason and so whatever the reason is here, its whatever. I just hope he doesnt expect it to be like nothing ever happened when he comes into high school. Like i dont want him to be all "brianna, my best friend" when hes not being a best friend to me you know? But im not gonna lie, it sucks a lot when the only person who knows whats happening and the only person you want to talk to about it, doesnt wanna talk about anything at all.
THREE: My birthdays coming up in about five months, and i finally got my dress(: today. its pretty but its not like "the perfect dress" or anything. its what mom "could afford" so im not all that happy but its okay. its still pretty. either way its gonna be a fun party regardless of the dress. i hope.
FOURRR: Wow. im such a different person that i was a year ago.
just about a year ago, exaclly a year and 6 days ago, we had UIL for our one act play. and i was soo in love with Jesus. I remember i lost my phone last year this time. i remember Melissa told me jason and Kathy were FWB. I was dating Jason this time last year. Oh gosh i was a mess this time last year. this time last year Nilsa, Cesi, and i were all suuuuper close. this time last year i knew who i could trust and who i couldnt. this time last year i HATED going home, i would always stay after school. This time last year i was so different its soo crazy how much changes. Like in some ways im the same insecure little girl who would do anything for attention, but in other ways i look back and think "wow, what a big ass mistake that was" but even things from like Feb. i regret doing. things with Oscar, things with Martin, Seth, Marcos. Gosh i loved 2010. the only thing i would change is the guys i dated. every single one except for... Jesus(: i think hes gonna be the only guy i dont regret dating. except like the gy i date who turns into my husband. but that wont happen for a while :P Like hes the only guy i dont regret doing thins with like dating, and our first kiss together? it was so great. Like even now, im smiling thinking about everything we did. Christmas break 2009-2010 when he called me every day and i got super excited for it. When he would kiss my cheek and id get these butterflies. How heartbroken i was back in Oct. when he kissed me then told me he had a girlfriend. Oh gosh i cried from that moment, to Monday morning. it was insane, i guess you never turely get over your first love. Now i havent had a relationship in 8 months as of 29th of this month. Damn school started 8 months ago today, we only h ave 6 weeks of school left and yet i feel like i havent done anything. TAKS is next week,color guard recurtment starts the first week of may, the week after that we're going on our band trip, and then after that theres only three weeks left! damn man, i really need to start taking care of my childhood. like actually allowing myself to have one. you know? make plans, like bowling, mall, movies, park, apap. (: ill start on that now :P
isnt it crazy how fast time goes?
well a lot has gone down to.
a lot of pointless drama i can hardly remember but its high school
what else should i expet right?(:
Well i'll tell you the major things that have happened
1. color guard got third place in states(:
2. Oscar has stopped texting me
3. i finally got my dress(:
4. Ive matured..(:
so One, we went to states on April 2nd. it was such a stressful morning.
i forgot my earings, so my mom had to go back home get them go back down to Huston, then give them to me,
once i got them they fell and broke
i had to use eyelash glue to fix them,
then right before we went on to preform i remembered that i forgot one of our probs. luckily Will went to go get it
so obviously, i had a bad feeling about the show right?
I stated crying in the middle of it, and at the end of it, and at the end of it, almost everyone on the team was.
it was crazy.
when awards came no one cared about the scores, we knew we did our best and we couldnt take it back or redo it. we placed third with almost a point sperating us and the other two teams.
it was crazy. Its by far without a doubt one of the most amazing memories of the year.
TWOOOO:
Sadly, it sucks a lot. Since Mardi Gras a lot has been going on at home and with family. and so it sucks that thats around the time that things started to majorly change for us. You know like when i needed a shoulder to lean on the most, hes gone. But i know things happen for a reason and so whatever the reason is here, its whatever. I just hope he doesnt expect it to be like nothing ever happened when he comes into high school. Like i dont want him to be all "brianna, my best friend" when hes not being a best friend to me you know? But im not gonna lie, it sucks a lot when the only person who knows whats happening and the only person you want to talk to about it, doesnt wanna talk about anything at all.
THREE: My birthdays coming up in about five months, and i finally got my dress(: today. its pretty but its not like "the perfect dress" or anything. its what mom "could afford" so im not all that happy but its okay. its still pretty. either way its gonna be a fun party regardless of the dress. i hope.
FOURRR: Wow. im such a different person that i was a year ago.
just about a year ago, exaclly a year and 6 days ago, we had UIL for our one act play. and i was soo in love with Jesus. I remember i lost my phone last year this time. i remember Melissa told me jason and Kathy were FWB. I was dating Jason this time last year. Oh gosh i was a mess this time last year. this time last year Nilsa, Cesi, and i were all suuuuper close. this time last year i knew who i could trust and who i couldnt. this time last year i HATED going home, i would always stay after school. This time last year i was so different its soo crazy how much changes. Like in some ways im the same insecure little girl who would do anything for attention, but in other ways i look back and think "wow, what a big ass mistake that was" but even things from like Feb. i regret doing. things with Oscar, things with Martin, Seth, Marcos. Gosh i loved 2010. the only thing i would change is the guys i dated. every single one except for... Jesus(: i think hes gonna be the only guy i dont regret dating. except like the gy i date who turns into my husband. but that wont happen for a while :P Like hes the only guy i dont regret doing thins with like dating, and our first kiss together? it was so great. Like even now, im smiling thinking about everything we did. Christmas break 2009-2010 when he called me every day and i got super excited for it. When he would kiss my cheek and id get these butterflies. How heartbroken i was back in Oct. when he kissed me then told me he had a girlfriend. Oh gosh i cried from that moment, to Monday morning. it was insane, i guess you never turely get over your first love. Now i havent had a relationship in 8 months as of 29th of this month. Damn school started 8 months ago today, we only h ave 6 weeks of school left and yet i feel like i havent done anything. TAKS is next week,color guard recurtment starts the first week of may, the week after that we're going on our band trip, and then after that theres only three weeks left! damn man, i really need to start taking care of my childhood. like actually allowing myself to have one. you know? make plans, like bowling, mall, movies, park, apap. (: ill start on that now :P
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