Errr....?

So. I'm a sophomore.
I've survived the first three weeks with all A's so we'll see how much longer that'll last.
I'm doing guard again this year, buy I've also joined cheer.
First practice is on Tuesday and I'm excited.
My goal is to graduate next year so my grades are being taken pretty serious.
My friend Emily and I have made t a weekly thong to have adventures on Saturday's, usually leading to Sunday's too.
Moms got a new friend named John. She says he's eger to meet us.
Honestly, I could care less.
My birthdays in 9 days.
Finally 15.
Friends? They're better than ever.
I've kept most from last year, plus gained back the ones from 8th grade.
Drama? None yet.
My years going pretty good I can't complain, but at the same time, I feel like something's missing.
Last night Emily and I watched Prom.
Yes the Disney one.
It felt weird thinking that if all goes as planned, in two years I'll be out at Penn state alone.
With no one else there for me.
The thought slightly terrifies me.
Especially now since I'm second guessing what I want to do with my life.
So asidefrom that, there's the love interest.
I have two boys catching my eye this year.
My ex boyfriend Chino and my friend Richie.
Chino and I went out over the summer, it didn't last long cause he annoyed me.
Pretty bad right?
Well this year when we're together it's crazy.
We don't have any classes together so it's not a lot of time.
I get butterflies and when he kisses my cheek it's like...
I don't know. Like if he's the first.
I get the same feeling I got with my first boyfriend and I haven't felt that since we broke up.
So it's a pretty big deal, but I don't "love" chino.
Then theres Richie.
He's a total cutie, and in band.
I've always wanted to date someone in band, like we'd spend so much time together.
Plus, we have a class together.
4th period, which is super easy and we always have spare time.
So I met him this year and I've heard good things about him.
He's super quiet but a total flirt.
"he has an amazing personality and he's a joker. He'd treat you right"
At the football game on Friday he kept blowing me kisses. And telling ne he loves me.
He's dumb(:
So there's that.
Guards okay. I don't like our instructor though.
Oscars quitting.
I'm upset, but at the same time, it's his life.
And I really shouldn't care.
Honestly, I really want to start distancing myself from him.
I kinda already have.
I don't text him back as much, I tell him what he wants to know and move on.
No real conversations.
I don't know, like I reread my story I wrote about him,
And I realized that I think about that day too much.
And every time I do, I cry and I hate him for the night.
Then morning cones and I forgive him. It's terrible.
The ending of my story ends with my character never talking to him again.
I wish that's how my real life was.
I wish I had the balls to just stop, just like he did back in March.
Blegh I'm gonna start venting about a dumb boy...
So I'm done for tonight. I'm getting upset.
I'll wrte about it some other time.
I'm gonna do my hair, and go to sleep.
Goodnight <3

I've always wanted to date someone in band