Lifes a rollar coaster -Breanna

it is... it really is. and it REALLY sucks. the good thing is that you know, after a big down hill fall, comes another higher up. starting on the 29th, my life has been...horrible. but today, everything got soo much better!! On Monday, jason put us on 'pause' nd me nd Oscar were growing apart, and me and my mom got into this huge fight, then when i got home, i found out some really shocking news. it was sooo much to handel for me. i was having suicidal thoughts. i really was. So yesterday i was like really just... out of it. it was soo weird. nd i ignored everyone but D'angelo Oscar nd Mileena. But today was one of the best days ever. Me and Oscar are closer than ever, Jesus got sooo jealous of me and Oscar cause i guess we were sorta flirting, but to us, we were just messing around, then Jason got jealous of Oscar so he pressed play. he was threatened by my best friend!! haha! then i found of some really good news, then me and D'angelo and Isayana were talking on the bus, and we realized how much next year is gonna suck cause we wont see each other, nd how after rehearsals, we wont see each other. although it was a sad moment, i loved it. like that was a side id never seen od D'angelo. but anyways. everything good was basicly, after school. Jaason wwore his muscle shirt, which he tends to wear when were not talking er were in a tiny fightt. haha. so okay lemme explain what happened with Oscar. i stole his walet nd we were running around nd he tried to get it back then Jason came out nd he was all joking around nd all "give him back him money" nd all thatt nd he put his hands on my waist *which i lovedd* nd so i did. nd oscar said he was missing some so jason checked me, nd i told oscar to check fer himself so he did then i turned around nd jason goes can i check there? nd i was like sureee.. then after that he "pressed play" nd i gave him a hug, and we were so close to kissing!! so so so sooo close! but then HE pulls away and goes well ill see you tomorrow.. nd iwas like okay, nd i walked away nd he goes tomorrow nd i turned around nd go what? nd he goes we'll finish up tomorrow. nd siiiighh. i loved itt. i really did :) nd then Jesus was starring at me nd Oscar nd he gave me thse eywes i hate soo muchh. those "look at what im missing out on" bahaha you loser! thats what happens when you let the best damn thing escapee! im done fer now got homework and dinner :D haha bye!

ARRGAHHH! -Nilsa

I should be happy, I really should. I feel like a cry-baby (minus the tears). I have a great boyfriend, awesome new friends and pretty much the best mom I could ask for. But still... just... ARRGAHHH! Today, I kinda broke down in my mind, and had to work so hard to control myself. We got back from UIL with horrible scores, then I found out rehersals was canceled, THEN I had to go to track, and that-one-thing-that-is-my-biggest-secret-ever was bothering me. Meanwhile, I was thinking wayyyy too much about things that were going on, and for some reason, my eyes started watering up. It's my normal daily routine! So, what, am I just gonna compleatly snap every couple months or so from now on because of the stress. Dude, I need a punching bag. I REALLY don't want a tumor to evolve from this.
In other news, I presented my amazing Macbeth parody to the class. Unfortunitly, my old friends were jealous and yelled the entire time about how it wasn't as good is theirs. Well then, why don't they go find theirs?! At least I'm respectful of them. I got tons of complements later, and random people coming up to me saying, "I heard your macbeth project was amazing!" Too bad most of the people in my class weren't strong enough to laugh as much as they wanted to.

so complicatedd... -Breanna

im so totally pissed! Oscars being really douche baggy and its making me really angry! he was being really ruse to Jason today. i dont know why. he didnt even d oanything to him as far as i know. it really pisses me off when people just act rude to someone for no reason! i mean maybe its because of what happened with me nd Jason, but im giving him a second chance, cant he?! ughh. i never thought id see the day where i, am mad at Oscar. im seriously shocked that im mad at him... really i am! ughh but on a better note, i LOVE Jason. he's amazing in ways that i cant describe. i really do love him. nd i hope to God he's not playing with me. i dont think he is, but you never know. but anyways. ughh we almost kissed todayy! like three times! first time mr. harvey was there so it was like yeah no im not kissing you infront of my vice principal. :( the second time i was looking down, nd i knew it was gonna happen then, but i was waiting fer HIM to pull the first move, like i said, im old-fashioned i do do "first moves" anyways. third time was after school we were hugging. nd i sware i felt like doing it, and i kow he wanted to but.. like i said i dont pull the first moves. im so frustratedd. its like we have no time to kiss -_- haaa... but anywayss. so Jason walked me to my bus nd Oscar saw us, he looked at me then looked down and away. what is it with guys doing that to me?! its soo annoyingg. but whateverr. so im pretty much happy with how my life is right now, im in love with Jason, im D'agelos main course, and my best friend is going to high school with me :)

Still Haunting Me -Nilsa

I'm almost to the point of saying "I wish I could forget." But I won't. It's against everything I believe. I never forget. If you forget the past, you'll make the same mistakes in the future. It's not like I could forget if I want to, but it's harder knowing that I just don't want to.

I'll go through a few of them.

I wish, so bad, that someone#1 actually cares and feels bad. Impossible. I mean, I think she has a heart somewhere in there, but there is no way she could possibly feel bad for me. It's just... NO! If she does, why doesn't she do something, huh? I'm not important enough.

Someone#2 seems to talk to me when none of my old friends are around. Coinsidence? haha. No.

Someone#3 is talking a lot, but for some reason has started to be nice. However, I am, apparently, still copying her hairstyles every one in a while. As much as it hurts, I kinda think it's funny. It's not like I can do anything without doing something wrong. Pettiness is funny to me, but at the same time I wish they still liked me.

Someone#4 is just being a jerk, dispite how awesome she is. An awesome jerk. Just a big bag of contradictions. Well, I guess she's NICE to me, that is, when I'm around. Otherwise, it's just the same old story.

uhhh... Surprisee -Brianna

Im back with Jason. yeepppp, third times a charm rightt? its not that i dont believe Oscar, its just Jasons been fighting fer me nd who knows, maybe it WAS a misunderstanding. nd then theres the excuse everyones been giving me: Oscars jealous of Jason.but hes not. i know hes not. Besides, IF Oscar did like me, like everyone claims he does, why didnt he tell me? its as simple as that. but anyways. ive been listening to Fearless by T- Swizzle a lot latley. I think its cause its somewhat how im feeling. but not muchh. also i think its cause Jason said hes gonna kiss me monday. thatll be my first kiss. i was totally freaking out about it cause i was like what do i do?! but i talked to Haley nd she "taught" me. haha :) i think its gonna be after school cause Monday ive got a dentist appointment so i wont be there til like 10 er 11. plus in the gym theres teaches there who watch us like hawks. nd im not willing to get in trouble fer him.. yett. :P but anyways. on his Myspace his top 8 were at one point all girls *while we were going out* nd i wasnt up there. but this morning i checked, and im his number three nd theres like 3 guys up there. so theres only 4 girls leftt. xP well im about to go to the store *hopefully Walmart xD* goodbyee

I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

douche! -Breanna

he sent me an IM... on MYSPACE!! how pathetic is he?! no text, no call, nd no message. a friggin IM!! how stupid is he that he tries to talk to me?! i told him i was done with him, he said "no problem"! only now its a problem! because now he wont leave me alone and he thinks he can walk on me and pretend none of this ever happened except guess what?! it did happen!! it did and theres no way to take it back and i sure as hell am not pretending it didnt. you know why? cause i trusted him.. yeah.. and now i know to trust no one.. not even the people i already trust. its official.. my heart, emotions, and thoughts are locked up, never to be released ever. again. thank you Jason, fer proving to me that i trust no one. its a lesson im glad i learned.. stupid douche bag..

Ugh. Jerk. -Nilsa

I'm ridiculously mad at J. To a ridiculous extent. Seriously... It's ridiculous.
How can he be that rude to her?
How can he say those things to her?
How can all that time he was getting closer and closer to fooling me that he was okay for her all be a lie?
What a jerk. What he's looking for is a girl he can walk allover, cheat on, and beat up who won't be strong enough to do anything about it. That'd just sad. Being like that towards my friends is NOT okay, and he needs to learn that. Things like this can scar a girl for life, and I WILL NOT let that happen.

He Scares me.. -Breanna

Jason... incredibly stupid. i mean to the point where its not even cute, or funny. i actually liked him. nd what does he do? cheats on me. yeeppp. i mean no it wasnt like he was kissing another girl, or had another gf, but he was tryig to get at two girls. it doesnt take much fer me to dump anyone. trust me. ask every guy ive gone out with. But cheating on me? yeah thats a BIG problem. nd he wasnt even smart enough to hide it!! He told Oscar! One of my best friends!! Doesnt he think im gonna hear about it? er does he think my friends could care less about me just like he did? but whatever. Oscar told me, nd i texted him i said "if you tell the one and only guy i trust that you were trying to "hollar" at two girls, dont you think ill hear about it?" nd he replied "i dont care" yeah that pissed me off. i said " you dont care? really? yer full of it you know?" nd he said "what are you gonna do?" honestly that put a thought in my head. isnt that somewhat of a threat? anyways, i thought what if i was doing this in person? would he try to hurt me physically? i was terrified. honestly i was. so that night i had a dream that he did hit me, and i was bleeding. and guess who came to the rescue? we'll keep that a secret :P anyways. soo.. yeah im so gald its Spring break. just get some time away from everyonee. but anyways my computers being stupid so i shall get off.

3rd Place? Oh Yes. -Nilsa

So yesterday was the track meet, and they had me come as a sub, which wasn't too bad since only 7/18 of the girls got to go. It was flattering that that included me. At the last minute, they found out that they could put 4 girls in the 1600 (mile). Soooooooooooo, I ran! And guess what? I BEAT EVERYONE ELSE FROM MY SCHOOL! That gave me 3RD PLACE. I get a medal. Woo. Although I'm pretty much dead today, it was so worth sprinting that last 100 and beating that from BMS by half an inch. The high-fiving afterwards boosted my confidence immediately, and I'm looking forward to being able to talk again soon (Throte in pain)! I feel alive, alert, awake, entusiastic. Not to mention healthy.
The drama is pretty much over, a lot of my old friends are somewhat coming back, I have new friends, and a good-grade-getting boyfriend. Knock on wood. For now, things are going well!

so much on my mind. -Breanna

Rehearsals: I love them. theyre so awesome. im not even kidding. like yeah some people anger me nd dont take things seriously but over all its soo much fun. Like i loveee all the inside jokes were getting. and how me nd Oscar, nd Cesi, and D'angelo are getting soo close. its.. indescribable. and like, everyone can basicly vent to one another. if cesi er nilsa arent there ive got d'angelo nd oscar. if they arent, if got yahaira nd lexi. nd if theyre not, then theres always fernie :) and i love how we can text each other the most randomist thing, and we'll play along. like if you pretend to flirt, theyll flirt back especially since we know it means nothing. like fer example. Me and D'angelo are texting right now talking about my butt :P hahaha!! but yeah its just like a lot of fun in there. then everyone really cares for one another. like Tuesday i was crying and everyone asked about me, when i went to the restroom everyone came out to check on me, even the guys. they waited til i came out. its just. amazing how much people can care.
Boyss: you know how the first time you get asked out its like the best day of yer life? then that guy turns out to be a douche? then the second time yer like whoa asecond bf in one year? nd then the third time... yeahh the joy wears off.. Yesterday i got asked out by my friend Jason. hes really sweet and nice and funny and reaallly cute but... he doesnt asct like were going out. even though its been one day.. still. its like Riley all over again and trust me, if it stays this way, its not ending pretty. but i guess well just have to see what happens tomorrow rightt? soo.. Oscar asked me fer advice on something "for his friend" he likes a girl. er.. his friend does. nd so yeah. idk if hes telling the truth er jsut using the most comenly used excuse to cover upp. butt well just have to wait nd see fer that too. haha. so Tuesday... Jesus was texting me and i told him to just ferget about me. and although i really want that to happen... i dont think I can ferget about him. maybe he can ferget me, but theres no way im ever going to ferget about him. he was my first boyfriend and the first guy i actually loved. but anyways i litterally broke down sending him that. Nilsa, Cesi, D'angelo, Fernie, and Oscar all comforted me. the one who did it the best was Oscar. he didnt say anything, he just.. huged me. litterally thats all i needed. i didnt need some long big story about how hes a douche and ill find someone better and how he doesnt deserve me, i just needed to be held. nd i know it sounds corny er whatever but im serious. thats all i wanted. but anyways, thenn later that night Jason asked me out and i said... yes. i Breanna Peeeee am going out with Jason Ayyeeee :). anyways TODAYYY i was in the library nd so was Jesus *just my luck* i was in the book section nd he stood up nd came into my section. thankfully before he came up to me, he got in trouble nd had to sit back down at his computer. soo thats about it fer guys.. for now..
Theres so much more on my mind that i cant even type out so i shall leave you with this, wondering what other kinds of drama can happen in two day period :) Good Byee :)

Nyaa ! - Haley

Pflugerville High, Here I come ! so Ive decided Im gunna cheer again. weird, huh ? Yeaaah i know. but its all good. Sophomore year, i shall be cheer leader (: Tomorrow is me and Chaiya's anniversary. 2 months, baby ! Forever to go (: I put that on everything . Everything is going okay. Today my camera broke. GAAAY but my mom said she'd buy me another one this weekend. Hopefully I can keep it forever and ever . Fah let me borrow Evermore. (: Thanks Fahh ! I'm feeling more, in place in life now. Like nothing is chaotic and theres no drama that I have to worry about or anything. I mean there's plenty to worry about but I mean I'm taking it one day at a time. I'll always plan my future but I see my future with Chaiyaa (: That's whats going to make me happy. The weather has been KILLING me lately. Its hot then rainy then cold then hot and then rainy then humid and then 80 degrees. WTF. BIPOLAR! ahah Well, Thanks for listening BLOOOG(: bye byee

hmmm... jealous muchh? -Breanna

okay so today was our workshop. it was soo much fun. first the bus ride to the school was interesting. well not really. but i learned to play with my sisters ipod touch :) haha. plus Oscar was my Bus Buddy :D haha. then at the school we were all just chilling nd all. it was awesome. after we preformed we got tips on how to make it better. i was sitting next to Oscar then every time he thought the lady was gonna say something about me, hed nudge me, but that only made me nervouser. haha but anywyas, after that we got a 5 minute break and it was awesome. Oscar accedently opened the wrong door causing like me and 4 people to crack up the rest of the day, and prob. forever more. haha. then at one point i was listening to his Ipod, he had the other earphone nd i heard Deandre go "aw guys arent they cute? im gonna hool them up" then like 3 people go "yeah theyre so cute lookk!!" nd my friend Cesi goes "uhh guys you know they can hear us right?" nd someone goes "thats the point" it was soo weird! haha. then at one point he had his arm around me. but i dont think he realzied it, cause i didnt until someone pointed it out. haha. nd then when we got back to the school... carson... was mad cause people were saying me nd Oscar should go out..but i dont really care. its not gonna happen so she shouldnt be worrying about it. but anyways thats about itt. well gotta go to bedd :P nighty night internet worldd! :)

Happy Times -Nilsa

Things have been good, with the exception of Lexi leaving. I know I'll see her sometime, and talk to her online, but it's never the same as getting to hang out with someone at least 5 days a week. I had that one bad day last week, but for now, it's all good. I've been talking to Brianna on the phone to keep from going insane, and I got to go to San Antonio yesterday! I bought a funky jacket and some candy art. Woo!

Suddenly, I'm surprised I even thought about saying no to Ryan.. I like him! He's awkward and weird and it just makes him cuter. Hahaha, "the flapping fish" is what Brianna and I called it when he tried to grab my hand "smoothly." And now Brianna has found someone too! Triple date time? I think so! Me, Mileena, Brianna, Jason, and the Ryans. Woohoo! HE is just what SHE needed to get her mind off of HIM today. I respet him like 3x more now, just for asking out my friend. He is a HERO.

BTW: ask me anything! formspring.me/nilsabee

blah blah blahh -Breanna

ughh these past two days have been amazing, nd then they sucked. Thursday was the best day of the week... no question about it.
Thursday rehersals were awful! first Nilsa and Oscar were at track and it took us like an hour to get them to come. but they got better, me and cesi talked to coach Z nd i realized how awesome he was. haha. hes moving to Chi-town. im so sadd :( but its all good. the 7th graders didnt take rehersals seriously which really angered me cause we go to the workshop monday!! grr. so i was pissed. when my part came in i was not into it at all and everyone could tell. especially..... so he was trying to figure it out nd i played it off saying its cause of lexi moving *which was partically it* so yeahh he got out his wallet nd i stole it. it was so much funn. he chased me for like 2 minutes around the band hall then i went into the halls. it was awesome. he got it back :( haha. but its cool. then when we were leaving, i saw jesus nd backed up, i did the first thing that came into my head. i asked oscar if he was my friend. he said yes. i asked him to do me a favor he said what. then i put his arm around me and i think he got it, i sorta explained it but not really. jesus looked at me then at the floor then back at his gf. i was satisfied. but anyways later that night me nd oscar were talking and we was like "next time to make it seem more real you have have me holr yer waist...er whatever" it was funny. haha but sii. then today sucks cause... lexis gone :( plus... 6 weeks... but 6 weeks nd im over him really. i am :) well gotta do laundry bye!

F**** School! - Haley

******** and ********* are fucking retarded. They act like we're supposed
to be leaders but treat us like we're retarded. We understand, we just
DON'T CARE. If we don't care, try to get 7th graders to care cause you
can't FORCE someone to care. You can't FORCE someone to do something they
don't believe in. They need to LEARN that. Because just because we're
younger, don't mean we don't understand. We're not DUMB! If you don't make
school enjoyable, why on EARTH would we enjoy coming? That's why I'm saying
you're ruining it and yet still pushing on attendance. You take away so many
things and only replace with few good things. WHY WOULD WE WANT TO COME
IF YOU'RE RUINING IT EVERYDAY? Nothing YOU DO is for OUR benefit, because
everyone is different and not everyone benefits from whatever you think
you're providing. You fucked up our school and we don't WANT nor NEED to be
leaders for your school. Fuck You, Fuck You, FUCK YOUUUU!

Today -Nilsa

Today, just... ugh. Why did today have to happen today, of all days? I HATE today. In fact, I think I can think of a negitivly toned thing about today for every letter of the alphabet.
A- "Always" is often used when lying
B- Brakes. I need to take my foot off the gas.
C- C-Blockers suck
D- Don't say anything unless you mean it
E- Everybody makes mistakes, but it's better when you address them and grow off of the things you learn.
F- Finding things out through others is not something I want to do
G- Good friends are hard to come by
H- Help. That's what I need. I need a friend, which I have many of, even at school, but sometimes drama brings out the worst in people and leaves you feeling hopeless.
I- I don't know if there's anyone I can trust with my secret. If anyone, it would be her, who I love to death, but am also ridiculously confused about.
J- Jumping to conclusions somehow always ends up being the right thing to do in my case. However, I tell myself not to, and I end up regreting it every time.
K- Kool-aid. I need Kool-aid. But do I have any? NO.
L- Lexi is moving
M- Maybe my old friends are more convincing than I thought
N- Not that the movie plan was too big of a deal anyways...
O- Other than you, who can I trust?
P- Perhaps... no, definitly. I will give up if this happens again.
Q- Quails. I want one.
R- Realize that I love you guys, and I'm not mad at anyone.
S- Suspect me not before confrontation
T- Talking: never take it for granted.
U- Unless I'm inmaginging things, this could end badly, like it did last time
V- Viagra sucks. People die.
W- Why? What could have happened between last night and this morning?
X- X-friends leave brusises on the soul
Y- Yes, I feel ditched, deserted, and dumb
Z- Z. It's depressing how I can't think of anything to use with the letter Z.

So, I hope you enjoy the summary. I pray that I won't regret posting this later.

Bloggin Foo- Haley

Chaiya's weirdd I are addicted to adding fan pages on facebook!
Me and Chaiyaaa are/ have been picking baby names, but having babies
is like.. the LAST thing I want to do right now. Well not really, I dont
wanna fail 8th grade/9th/10/11/12th , i dont wanna break up, and thenn
i dont wanna have kids right now. BLAAH life planning takes to long !

My last few days -Nilsa

So, I said yes to Ryan. Actually, I said "I would love to." So far, I'm enjoying myself, and there is no awkwardness with Kevin, so things seem to be going pretty well! Plus, I have a double date on Friday! My first actual "date," believe it or not! *Smiles*
Lexi is moving, and I can't even admit to myself how sad that is. She'll be a little ways away, but I guess thats fine! I'll certainly visit. But oh, what about the play? There is definitly no better cowardly lion in this school.
What else? Oh yeah, someone stole my athletics shorts. Thats $30 I won't be spending on iTunes. But whatever, I hope karma gets 'em good.
I still miss them, but I've decided to forgive myself for that one slip-of-the-mouth so long ago. I've apologized four too many times, and she has said wayyyyyyy worse things than I have. Her not forgiving me is not my problem. Her loss.
As for that other chick, I have pretty much forgiven her, but I couldn't take her back as a close friend without knowing that she realizes the severity of what she has done.
That ex-bestie of mine might actually have a heart somewhere in there, unlike some others, but she has gone so, so far off the wrong track. I WILL NOT EVER have her as a friend without an impressivly sincere apology. I've apologized. The only one who still holds the burden of evil on their back is her. So... hah!
It's been a lovely week!