Worst chocies- Brianna

So lately i feel as if my mom has been making the worst choices ever.
Shes dating this guy Kenn.
Hes liek the dumbest thing ever.
Why? Cause I said so.
anyways so she goes to work all day right?
comes home and has to deal with us three kids,
then study and do homework.
then sleep.
Some how she manages time to go out with him,
and just never finds time to GO BUY FOOD FOR US.
Believe it or not, but food doesnt just appear on plates.
So since theres no food, i ask her if i can use some of my saved up money to order Dominos later today.
Well.. i go loko for my envelope and guess what?
No Money.
so i ask her where it is,
she said in her closet.
which means stay out of it.
then i find out that out of the 700 i had in June.
i only have one hundred left.
I've only bought my Ipod.
So then she tells me that I cant order it.
bullshit.
Shes leaving work early and getting groceries.
she'll be home at 1:30.
anyways a few days ago, i asked her if i could spend the night at my friends house so i could have a ride to a concert that ive had plans for for thee longest time.
she said no, and that its to short notice, and im gonna have to skip it this time.
same shit she told me for NY and Kansas.
Saammee fucking shit.
Im tired of missing shit because of her.
Like how often am i gonna get to see my close friends mom get married?
Not many.
How many times am i gonna get asked to go to NY for a week?
Not much.
How many times are FTSK gonna do a free concert here in Austin?
More than likely, never again.
I cant wait til i leave and i can make my oen decisions, and i can go where ever i want, whenever i want.
i can spend my money how ever i want.
I can stay up as late as i want
i make my own choices.

Oh Manor... Brianna

So already, two girls have quit guard and have/ have wanted to come back.
It pisses me off.
Personally i feel that once you make the decision to not come anymore,
stick to it.
And i mean these girls are sort of friends with me,
so im not gonna bitch at them and start drama before school even starts,
but seriously?
Like its not fair to us, the kids, who work our butts off (most of us at least)
cause then we get held back trying to teach them the stuff we spent forever learning, and they shouldve been there.
but no, instead, we drop everything we're doing to be at their aid.
How dumb...
blegh im just so annoyed by people wuiting and then realizing what a mistake they made, and then just taking it back like its nothing.

Im bored- Brianna

My boyfriend.
Hes so terrible.
I dont know.
Like we dont click.
Like at all.
we've been going out for three weeks and our conversations look like this:
Him: babe i love you(:
Me: Haha aww thanks dear.
Him: Dont you love me??
Me: Mhhm.
Him: But not more than me right??
Me: No(:
like at first, it was cute.
but now, three weeks later, i dont even want to talk to him!
we cant hold a friggin conversation!!
Like, i get the first week or so its that honey moon stage right?
I hate it so much.
Its the dumbest thing in the world.
I try to get over it ASAP.
Especially after Martin.
Like i want a boyfriend who can make me feel safe, and secure, and wanting more, with him, i want less.
I havent texted him in a few days cause my phone died a while ago, and sicne then i just havent texted him.
I dont want to.
Is that bad? thats bad.'
Like i wanna break up with him, but at the same time,
i wanna wait til school starts to see if it gets any better when we're actually together, you know?
Ughh idk he just bores me with his talk of nothingness
So enough about my boyfriend.
My mom has a "Friend" ask she calls him.
They go out on dates, hes been over once,
and i dont wanna meet him.
im trying to avoid doing it, but she seems to try harder the more i resist.
he might stop by later tonight.
Im honestly really scared that he could be my step dad one day.
Like i dont want one.
my mom can get married when i go to college you know?
Anyways, im gonna go get ready for band camp tomorrow.
IM SO TIRED.
Like my feet are killing meee.!!