was i blind? -brianna

or did everyone see this coming? did I See this comingg?? no. i didnt. i think its stupid. if you really love me this wouldnt be happening. why is it happening again? i dont want it to happen. i want it to go away. i want this feeling to stop. i want the tears to stop. i want it all to stop. i want summer to go away, summer, the pain, the tears, the "confusion" everything. i want it gone. i especially want summer gone. i hate it. its stupid. i want to go to school and see him. i wanna see my friends. i dont want to be home for 106 days without doing anything... no im not doing thatt. thats why i got a gym membership yes? yes... thats why im going first thing in the morning nd blow off this stem... but maybe this will make me stronger... like make me realize that with him you really dont know what to expect... nd i hate that so much. i mean i like it cause its spontaneous but like its with the bad stuff.. i already know when hes going in for i kiss, i know when hes trying to hold my hand, and i know when hes not gonna let me go. but i never know when hes going to break up with me, i never know when the day will come when he'll tell me to leave him alone cause he hates me. i never know when his top will blow and... strike IM out... me and jason are on pause til freshman year... will we actually get back? no promises... :'(