gahhhh!!!!!!!!!-Brianna

I'm going insane in this house.. literally i cannot wait til school starts again. I'll admit we fight more during the school year because there's a lot going on, but when we fight over the summer, they're huge fights. lots of yelling involved.


this is just stupid. okay so i asked to go to Florida/Georgia for two weeks with one of my best friends. its a long time and very far, but its with my best friend of 2 years. its not like it was someone else who i hardly knew, who jsut invited me out of no where. so anyways it was a free trip all expenses paid. i told her all the details, and gave her time to think. infact i gave her about 2 weeks to think. she still said no. i was mad but i got over it. Today my sister asked to go outta state with her BOYFRIEND, who she lost her v card to, for 3 weeks. my mom yelled at her, then said "fine"

is it me or is that just not fair?! like honestly think about it, compare them, if you had a daughter and she asked you to pick between letting her go fer 2 weeks with her best friend nd her family, or with her boy friend and no one else, which would you choose?! i've posted this on myspace facebook twitter nd even here, but once again, i state, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY MOMS THINKING!!

So since i was supposed to leave this up coming weekend, and im not, im trying to make plans, like going to nilsas house fer a few hours during the day, hanging at the mall, having shelby, lexi, or nilsa come over fer a few hours or spend the night... my mom yelled at me cause she doesnt want me making so many plans... shes really starting to piss me off.. like really?! im a fucking teenager, i can only do nothing for so long.

Martin leaves on Wednesday nd should be back thursady night. i was hoping to see him this weekend but no. first my mom said no. second. hes busy. its not fair! Alexis *my sister* gets to see her boyfriend like 5 days out of the 7 in the week. i know its easier fer her cause hes got a car and all but still.

im the kid my mom doesnt have to worry about yet she has a tighter leash on me than anyone else in this house. i dont understand why. im the one who has never sneaked out, never lied about where i was or who i was with, ive never come home with a grade lower than 71, im the one whos decided to "save herself til marriage" because of what my sister did, im the one who tells my mom everything that goes on in my life even though it seems as if she could care less. im the kid that has to act as two because my sister hardly talks to us anymore. yet she lets my sister go where ever with who ever when ever. its fucking stupid.

i dont think my sister understands what she has. she has the freedom to do whatever she wants yet she somehow found a way to fuck it up nd make my mom get all strict on us. even me, the one who hardly does anything bad minus forgetting to wash the dishes every so often. literally, the child anyone would kill for! im not trying to brag or anything but seriously! im an amazing kid! compared to 98% of teenagers out there, im practically perfect! but i somehow get stuck with a sister who lies, cheats, sneeks around, talks to much, tries to act like an adult, and thinks shes old enough to do whatever she wants. but you know what? if shes old enough to have sex, she should be old enough to pay her own bills, get a job, or even learn to fucking clean up after herself!

God... shes so fucking immature for a 15 year old... or maybe im just to mature for a soon to be 14 year old.

i just hate how i got stuck with a sister whos my total opposite. i know everyone says you should love your family and blah blah blah but honestly? its hard to love someone who causes so much pain, heart break and disappointment.

sighh i think ive let all my frustration out... now if only Martin would text me backk... :(