Boys, Boys, Boys... -Brianna

I don't understand them... they're so... complicated. Let me give you a list of how complicated my "love" life can be. One, Jesus. Two, Jason. Three, SETH. FOUR. MARTIN. four guys I have to juggle with. jesus, were never getting back together, thats a duh! moment. but he's been calling me behind his girlfriend's back and it bugs me because of what Jason and Seth did to me. Jason, we broke up and I feel terrible about it, but theres no possible way we can get back together, it's out of my control. you know? Seth: lying, cheating, jackass. nuff saidd. Martin, oh geez.. Martin. hes so... perfect. and amazing. and sweet. and the worst part? hes so considerate of everyones feelings. So I listed perfect amazing and considerate of everyones feelings. Why is this a bad thing? Because that's whats keeping him from asking me out. He likes two other girls and he doesnt think it's fair that he goes out with anyone while he likes anyone else. But I mean hey, if it's ment to happen it'll work out. It always works out fer the best rightt? :)

Prom&& the last day...-Brianna

Prom was amazing!!! i danced i sang and i got a ring :) first off, we snuck lexi into prom. the best thing ive done this year... second best *1st is going out with jason** then for the first time in forever i actually danced and the dance. and i danced with my friends, and my boyfriend. it was fun. and with some songs, we just sang at the top of our lungs. then like halfway through the dance jason gave me the surprise. it was a ring. its.. beautiful. its a light purple *my favorite color** and its huuuge! i love it. i love him! thennn you know how its suuper romantic when people kiss in the rain? well there was a huge storm last night and i got my fairytale ending to a perfect day. but just FYI, it doesnt feel any different. just cooler cause your face is getting splashed with rain drops :)) but then he had to leavee but its cool. anyways so today was the last day of school and it sucked. i mean it was loads of fun but extremely sadd. jason was in my first period that lasted 2 hours but most of the time he was playing the wii. but when we were talking it was fun. then he walked me to the stairs when it was time to go to 2nd period. Cesi went to my second period and it was fun. it was me her lexi oscar yahaira and deandre. we brought up all of our inside jokes and of course, we cried. me nd cesi first started crying cause thats the last time we had to hang out in the halls it sucked. i started crying at 12:45 i didnt stop til 1:30. but anyways jason told me to wait for him outside and he never showed. he later texted me and told me his aunt picked him up early. 5 minutes before the buses left i was jesus. he looked at me, then his girlfriend, then walked away. im extreamly sad he didnt say by ebut i guess it doesnt matter anymore right? right.. i stayed after school with nilsa nd we had an adventure :) it was scary but looking over it it was fun. but anyways im super sad its over but like Dr. Sues once said "Dont cry because its over, smile because it happened"

why is everything soo good right noww? -Brianna

im gonna have to let it go in 2.5 days. theres no problems with me and Jason, what little drama happened this year, is fixed. all the people i care about, are with me. but in just 2 and a half days i have to let it go. i have to let some people go. i dont even know if me and jason are going to high school together. will i cry on the last day of school? yes.. mostly of fear of not seeing him again and having to break up. see, i dont do long distance relationships. they're stupid and hardly ever work. like the friends im not going to high school with i have their numbers, i know where they live *nd if i dont ill figure it out ;)** we all have facebooks, myspaces, and twitters. but Jason.. its harder letting him go cause i love him. i mean yeah i love my friends but its a different kind of love. and like lately hes super sweet. like, for example, i asked him what he was gonna do for the three day weekend, and he replied saying "think about you mostly" :) last night around 9:30, he texted me out of the blue and wrote "ily for ever" today we've been texting and talking as much as we can. i know durring the summer we can plan to meet up but its harder because my moms supper strict now because of my sister. i mean im not complaining its just "i wish"... thats all i seem to be saying lately. "i wish we could hang out together" "i wish we could go to high school together" "i wish we could talk instead of text" "i wish rumors would stop spreading" i wish... but againn.. im not complaining, im jsut wishing.. anywyas. my weekend was alrightt, boring but good. right now ive got a head ache which sucks but i'll just take some Tylenol. well gotta go get ready fer school tomorrow, adios. oh P.S. jason says he might give me the surprise tomorrow :D if he does i'll blog during school. tomorrow is also the cast party, and im getting my shoes for graduation :D okay now im off byee!!

"Every time you're near
Trouble disappears
Under the ground
But when you go to far
Silver clouds will start hanging around
And I know why
Try to run
But I keep on
Coming back
Full circle
And I can't jump the track
Can't let you go"

are you effing kidding me..? -Brianna

Ever felt like crying but you just couldn't get the tears out? Is that like.. crying on the inside? well it like that right now. for the past 3 days I've wanted to I really did and my eyes got watery and all.. but nothing. Its pissing me off. like one thing that's on my mind a lot lately is Jason, my boyfriend. we didn't kiss at all today but that's not what made me like "wtf" after school is when we usually kiss, but today he just goes "not today" and I go "okay" and just walked off. hes pissing me off a little. like, lately I feel like hes gonna break up with me again so im worried about that cause he makes me happier than any other guy I've gone out with and that says a lot. but anyways so I get the feeling hes going to so I talked to him about it and you'd think that after you talk to them they fix things right? so did I. he didn't. he just made it soo much worse and raised my suspicions. and lately I've been hearing that hes trying to talk to his ex again so I'm just like... ummm what the fuckk. seriously yer gonna talk to HER more than ME?!! #@!$%% bleghh guys are so stupid sometimes I swear. I'm glad I kinda didn't give him my heart fully this time cause I don't need another heart break from him. he hurts me the most nd that's because I love him the most.. ughhhhh its just like super complicated right now nd I don't know what to do.. :'( nd I wish I could talk to either one of my best friends but one isn't allowed to talk to me and the other thinks I'm a whore for getting my first kiss in middle school. my bestestest friend Jesus, cant talk to me cause according to his girlfriend we flirt to much so she made him choose me or her. he chose her. and my other best friend.. well I got my first kiss at the most recent dance and shes calling me a whore now so you know its cool. In times like these I turn to this blog right heree.. so the people I wanna talk to the most I cant talk to them so you know its cool.. anyways today I went to look for my prom/graduation dress.. no luck in the whole store there was like 8 dresses for teens and like 3 of those were okay for a celebration so I'm just like bleghh about itt. I'm trying again tomorrow but still I wish I could just get the dress I want but I don't think I will... but whatever... okay so its taken me like 45 minutes to write this and my eyes just got watery.. but still no tears.. now I'm just getting frustrated... well whateverr I'm gonna go to bed.. try to cry at least once before tonight ends.. good nightt.