Life Hits You- Brianna

i know i always say "things happen fer a reason"
but really ??
something THIS big ?!
it isnt necessary.
i simply dont understand why it had to happen
and to us ??
and now ?!
this came at the worst time possible !
ive come to realize that you cant always be strong,
and that its okay to break down,
wanna know how i found this out ?
Life hit me.
it hit me right in the face
and it left marks.
marks that are gonna be permanent.
a few nights ago,
my dad called my mom,
apperently,
his girlfriend accused him of assault.
did he really hit her?
who knows i wasnt there,
but if he did, im not surprised.
well, anyways, he was arrested fer like 2 days,
and when he went back to work,
they fired him.
No more child support.
my moms thinking about cutting down our mins to 1000 a month *not bad*
and taking off texting.
like now that schools starting,
maybe its not such a bad idea,
but like still,
the reason why its happening is driving me crazy.
when my mom told me i got mad
she asked "are you upset that he got arrested or because he got fired"
honestly ?
its because he got fired.
he doesnt realize how important those $300 a month are to us.
he thinks we should get one check,
and thats it.
then hes done paying.
and theres nothing we can do about it.
isnt that like... crazy ??
my mom made a huge mistake getting married to him.
she deserved so much better.
is it bad that some times i blame my mom fer not having both parents ?
like i alwasy think,
that if she wouldve married Jake,
or just about any one else,
things would be better.
i mean i know i shouldnt blame her,
but sometimes its just like..
thoughts .
i dunno.
thats exactly why,
i dont plan on getting married til after college,
after im settled in in life,
after i get my degree,
so that if anything between me and my husband happens,
i have something to back me up.
me and possibly some kids.
and i know im not in any rush to get married,
so ill take my time and know that i really wanna be with this guy,
for the rest of my days.