Big News- Brianna

Yesterday,
me and my mom went to my grandparents house.
my grandma and mom remind me of me and a friend.
always gossiping
spilling dirty
taking trash
all that jazz.
well yesterday we got news that 2 of my distant uncles are..
in jail.
Horrible reasons too..
like its weird to think that i have blood relatives
doing crazy things like that
and if im in this much shock,
imagine my cousins,
their wifes.
brothers
sisters
daughters
sons.
like it must suck
big fat hairy balls.
Im not allowed to tell anyone the reasons
and if i cant tell them in a simple text
or phone conversation,
then im not about to tell the whole world.
Anyways.
so my sister was with her boyfriend all day yesterday from noon til around 6.
wanna know what they were doing ?
buying a mouth piece for her clarinet.
im sorry sweetie, were not stupid.
it takes 15 minutes to get to the store,
10 to get the piece 5 to pay
15 to get back home.
thats not even an hour.
about 2 hours after they left she asks if they can go
eat at a Jack In The Box.
my mom said fine.
it doesnt take 4 hours to eat and come home.
especially not a FAST food place.
when she finally got to their house,
i opened the door for them
guess who had a little hickey ?
yeah but not on yer neck.
her shirt was low cut and...
i saw it.
i think thats why she wanted the foundation so badly
so she can easily cover up her hickeys
but who knows.
anyways so my mom saw it too.
but guess who didnt get in trouble ?
all she got was a
"yeah i saw that hickey dont act like yer that innocent"
its weird to think that i got my first kiss at 13,
she got hers at 14,
and within the same year,
lost her virginity.
like it bothers me.
how can you have yer first kiss, and lose yer virginity in less than 6 months period ?
it doesnt make sense to me,
anyways.
last night i had a dream about my best friend
my best friend at heart who will never be replaced by anyone
whos still with me, watching over me, guiding me, protecting me.
Fatima, My best friend, who died at the age of nine.
She was in 8th grade just like she would be if she were with us still,
and our whole 8th grade class took a trip to Galveston including Manor middle.
we were still best friends
the bus ride there, she was wearing my jacket and i was wearing hers
just like we would in fourth grade.
we were joking around, and laughing
and smiling. together.
i was sitting next to her.
why did my mom have to wake me up ?!
its not fair
for the first time in years i have a dream about her,
and my mom wakes me up
i miss her so much.
i wish we could go into high school together.
i wish that she was still alive
i wish she never went to the carnival
and never got on that ride
and never fell off
and never moved.
never left me in the first place.
i wish we never got into that fight a week before she moved
that wouldve been a week i could of had to talk to her,
to tell her how amazing she is nd how much i love her
for being my friend when no one else would
for being there when no one else was.
She was such an amazing person.
if she were still alive she would have tons of friends.
she was beautiful.
she was sweet,caring,out going, not shy at all, active,
she would be an amazing person.
she still is, its just now, shes in heaven waiting for me.
i miss her.
since '05 Christmas isnt the same.
like something Nilsa pointed out was that
every year when December comes
you get that feeling in yer stomach and yer like
look its almost Christmas
when she pointed that out
i realized that i havent had that feeling since '04
Because on December 19th 2005 my best friend Died.
***********
Rest In Peace Love,
Fatima Cervantes 1996-2005

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