And again, my life goes from bad to worse,
I just want to isolate myself from the world
so I'll never know any pain, I won't cry because
I have to wait, because it'll only be me. I won't
disappoint anyone, because it'll only be me to
disappoint. I hate my life. I hate the fact
that all I do is wait for Chaiya. But nothing ever
seems to be happening. I hate all this pressure
for TAKS. I hate the feeling that I'm waiting for
nothing. I'd rather be told he's never coming than
to wait for a freaking year. It'd hurt a little less.
It'd let me know that I don't have to constantly
remind myself that I'm waiting. It'd hurt a little
less to know that I'm not putting every physical
need on hold for a fucking year because It's just
so long. I hate my life.
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