:D -Brianna

So on Tuesday while at practice,
i hit myself in the head.
i threw my flag up 6 ft,
and then it came and hit me.
went to the doctors,
then they sent me to the ER
i got there around 8
and i didnt leave til 11
it was crazy
i was nervous and scared
and excited and in a way,
i felt like i finally completed something
ive always wanted to get hurt,
break something twist it sprain it,
whatever
i mean you think that as a kid youll break yer arm at least once
i never have,
never been to the hosital much less the ER fer anything.
so when i went tuesday i was like excited
it was thee scarriest thing ive ever been put through
it was insane !
one of the nurses that helped me
was in color guard when she was in high school
she told me she broke her nose twice,
and showed me this nast y scar she got from a rifle :D
it was amazing, in a weird way.
anyways when i got home i called martin to let him know how i was doing and everything
he asked me if i was going to new techs orientation,
i said i didnt know it depended on how i was feeling nd then later on
i decided i wouldnt go.
i told him that
then he got kinda quiiet and said "oh well.. um.. i kinda got into new tech and i was gonna surprise you by going to the orientation"
MARTIN GOT INTO NEW TECH!!
im soo happy about this .
like i knew he was gonna get in but i thought maybe around december
maybe even next year
so when he told me that
i like freaked outt.
we talked about doing long distance if he doesnt get in,
but i hate doing long distance.
i really just cannot stand long distance,
but i know that i can trust him,
and he wouldnt cheat
so like im always saying, Hes the only Exception.
but now that were gonna be at the same high school fer the next four years
that wont be needed(:

Not Again... - Lauren

And now, to top it off, I got a message from Amanda. It's like... I have great days for a while, then all of a sudden everything happens in one day. >.>
Just watch though, tomorrow it'll be Anysa with my luck. >:/
Cuz it's the three people I haven't spoken to and had no plan to, and honestly I don't think I can forgive despite how hard it is for me to be angry and reject them trying to be friends... I honestly don't know that I can forget what they did. Kira and I didn't even think of being 'friends' for a year and The reason we stopped didn't even involve me, but my best friend. I just... I wish I could be friends with them again. I do. But...

But I just... I look at Amanda and I remember a 'friend' who left me alone in the forest to go screw my brother. A 'friend' who has fed me lies almost since we met. A 'friend' who stole my best friend away to another room when me and Audrey slept to drink each others blood.
I look at Lyn and I see the angry violent person she uses to cover the deep, sweet girl inside. The one she refuses to let anyone see. I see the one who dated and threw away guys who may've loved her like they were nothing. I see the girl who stole my brother away for doing god knows what while I slept, and I woke up to find them sleeping on my floor cuddled up together. I see the girl Who I practically didn't exist to while she was with my brother.
I look at Anysa and I see feigned pregnancies, I see lies and cheating, I see Marcus's text after he found out about Jim and Anysa while they were dating. I see her and Amanda making out in the hallway. I just...
I don't think I can get past that... I really don't.

I don't want to be the one to give up on people... I really don't. That's the last one I wanted to be. But these aren't healthy people, and being around them causes me so much pain and stress. I'm just now feeling well, I don't need their shit too... I just can't do it... >.>


But i'll get through it, I always do. I'm just frustrated, I'll be fine in the end.It just sucks for now.

The Drama Llama strikes again... - Lauren

School doesn't even start for another two weeks and the Drama Llama is already back.
When I woke up this morning I checked my Facebook, and was Chatted by Joe. that's fine, Then I opened up my friend requests and saw one from one Lyn Adams, an Ex-Friend who 'dated' my brother for a while, and who I'd gotten into a huge fight with and she'd never even bothered to respond after my second message. There was no message, no nothing, but just a friend request. As though she expected everything to just be ok. It's not. Her, Amanda and Anysa have done so much shit to me and my friends... I can't just accept them back like that with all the lies and drama and pain they've caused in the group. I just can't. Not unless one has really changed and can prove it, but as I know well now they are all really good liars... So Joe and I got into this huge talk about her and everything, and shizz... then I was looking at my feed when I ran across a post from Stephen (friend of Amanda and ex-boyfriend of Lyn) saying hoe much he hated Jim and how he wanted to kill him, I asked him to message me if it was the Jim I was thinking of, and he messaged me. Apparently Jim has been trying to get back with Amanda, and Amanda had come crying to him about it. First off let me explain that i trust none of these people except maybe Stephen, because while he's violent and angry, I don't take him as a Liar. Then All of a sudden I saw my brother's face in my window. Well that was just like WTF, so I waited till a stopping place in my conversations, then headed to the door. See Jim is usually on the porch talking to Kelsi, and that was completely who I expected to see sitting in the chair, but... It was Lyn. It was really awkward for a second, then I went back in as fast as I could, and told Joe what happened. I don't know what to believe, but I had promised Sammie that I wouldn't meddle, she made me promise after the last time I found something out. She's convinced that in wanting to protect Jim I'm going to make it worse. So I sent her a message. I told her the whole story I'd heard and seen, and said since I wasn't allowed to do something I'd at least tell her. She didn't comment, just said that she wanted Amanda's number, saying she'd stop this once and for all, and requested that I tell stephen if he hurts a hair on Jim's head she'd beat the crap out him basically. Then I was talking to Shea, she wanted to know what was wrong and know about the drama I'd posted about, and I told her... Then SHE started to get upset, and when I asked why she reminded me Jim and Stephen were both listed as Attending to her birthday party. Well after she talked to Stephen he Promised he wouldn't do anything as his present to her. If Jim started something he wouldn't let it be, but he wouldn't instigate. but now Shea thinks she wants to un-invite Jim... I can't really talk her out because he deserves what he gets for lying to her (which is why she doesn't want him there, he told her he was completely done with Amanda) but I don't want to have to deal with him once she tells him... I told her to talk to him and see what happens from there. Then after much deliberation I sent the number to Sam, if anything happened to make it worse it was my fault for asking Sam, and I'd have to deal with it...

I hate all this drama. Every last scrap. I want it to die. I want these people out of my life, I want my brother to stop being a stupid emo kid, I want Amanda to be the person she was before all this shizz... She used to be sane, and good. I loved her, but now... She's made of Lies and Deceit. I couldn't do it anymore. I don't know what to do anymore, I hope I did the right thing....

I was ready for Drama once school started... I wasn't ready for this yet. :(

Why Now ?-Brianna

Why not when i was 2
why not when you and mom were married
why not when i needed you ?
why you you leave yer kids in the first place?
a divorce i dont care about
things happen fer a reason
sometimes it just doesnt work out.
but not even wanting yer kids in yer life?!
thats just.. crazy
thats a part of you.
and to not care if theyre okay or not
it blows my mind.
When you have three kids,
who need you the most,
and you just walk out of their lives,
and when yer two little girls need a dad growing up
to be that protective man in their life,
to have an example of how a boyfriend should treat you,
and to know what true love looks like,
and you just leave...
to me, its just as bad as murder.
you kill that little piece of hope in yer kids life,
you kill a little piece of their mother,
and if the mother inst financially fit,
you kill their future.
so out of a girls life she needs her father between the ages of 3-13
and on her wedding day
guess what ?
my dad left when i was 2,
and now when im one month from being 14,
he tries to talk to me...
over facebook.
whenever he does that
i lie to him.
for example i put on my facebook about how i have to put up my phone by 9:30
he asked why
i said because schools starting soon.
why would i tell him the truth ?
he doesnt need to be in my life,
i dont need him in my life.
infact i dont WANT him in my life.
my point is, why is it that when i dont need you,
you try to come into my life,
and try to act as if nothing ever happened
last time i hung out with him i was two
last time i saw him i was 8.
i was scared,
and in the end,
he didnt even want to give me a hug.
does that explain to you how much we "ment" to him ??
so why now,
that all three of us can take care of ourselves
and dont need anyone to help us,
why now,
does he decide to talk to me ?
its pretty damn clear isnt it ?

everythings stupid right now- brianna

Color guard is killing me little by little
we have three rutines were learning right now
all three need to be perfected by the 20th
since thats our last day of practice fer a week
were only preforming 2 of them,
but the third one we might do at the first football game (27th)
depending on how ready it is.
aside from all the pain,
its a lot of fun
today we got a new girl
quick learner
and almost at the same place in our dance that we are.
thats a good thing
plus were already talking about make up and costumes and junk
pluuuus on my breaks or any time i can sneak to my phone
im texting Martin,
who makes me feel..
so perfect.
he puts me on this pedestal
showing me off,
and telling me how much he loves me
and how he feels about me
and somehow hearing all of it,
and even just a simple "so hows practice"
makes it... worth all the pain.
like somehow it makes me wanna practice harder,
and get my tosses higher,
and my angles perfect.
and every night i ahve a count down to 9
cause thats when i get to talk to him.
i can talk to him until 11 ishh
about anything and everything.
but today...
i didnt put away the dishes before i left fer practice
and my mom came home and got mad
the first thing she does when me and my sister get into the car
is yell at us.
like not an "hi how was practice"
but instead its a lecture.
and she said that by 9:30 i have to be off the phone..
i dun think she realizes that i can only talk to him after nine
i mean yes i text him all day
but its not the same.
like it just bothers me that she has to take away my phone privileges
fer something so stupidd...

Birthdays-Claudia

It's totally typical and predictable, but holidays were always the worst when I was growing up, with my parents still together. Instead of the media-created myth of holiday cheer, I mostly remember stress, crying, and screaming! Oh yeah, funtimes.

My dad's birthday was today and it was pretty spiffy. We all saw a movie, made breakfast together, went to see my grown up half brother, and ate cake at Whole Foods. It was a good birthday, except that my dad had to pay for everything himself and didn't even get any presents from his kids because my mom refused to drive us to buy my dad anything. It was the same way on Father's Day. I understand that she does this because she doesn't want my dad getting the wrong idea, but I wish she could look at driving us to a store as something she would be doing for us instead of him.

For Mother's Day and her birthday, my dad took us all out to shmancy restaurants and bought everything we picked out for her. I know he does this because he still wants them to be married, and it makes me really sad to see him trying so hard and knowing that there's nothing he could do for that to happen. Don't get me wrong, I don't want my parents to get back together, let's just say they were not the happiest couple on earth, but I do want my dad to move on and be happy, which he seems to really not want for himself.

Anyway, I felt bad about the whole no-presents thing, and it made me wonder, which way is the better approach? Trying to get back with your ex-wife with dinner and presents and endless phone calls, or not helping your kids if it's actually helping they're dad? I wish my parents could find some happy medium, stay uninvolved, but do something to help us stay involved, because we're a part of both people's lives, whether they like it or not.

SCARE! - Lauren

This will be my third year helping out with the Volunteer Haunted house Scare for a Cure, And I couldn't be more happy with it. I love scare, the people are amazing, you get to go out, have fun, meet great people and scare the daylights out of people all benefiting the Breast Cancer Resource Centers of Texas. It's just awesome.

I went to the Volunteer Kickoff Party today with Nilsa and was shortly thereafter joined by Rowan, and Ooooold friend of mine, and We listened to Jarrett talk about the organization, there was a lot of applauding, all the managers came up and spoke, it was cool. Dad complains about having EVERYONE nonessential go up and speak, but I think it was nice he recognizes everyone.

This year should be amazing, H1Z1 Zombie wasteland!
I'll be working at the outpost, theoretically with Nilsa. the outpost is where people wait instead of waiting in line. Can't wait, should be awesome. XD

Tell your friends! Scare for a Cure Haunted house in Austin!
Great fun for a great cause!
Come volunteer!
<3