Things are going alright.
I got the weekend to NOT practice with my flag,
i got to listen to loud music
i got to hangout with a few people
and me and Martin are back together
But,
my mom forgot that im out in the sun 35 hours a week at practice,
so she made us deeeep clean our house,
then took us to my aunts house to clean
i had to vacuum her stairs, and the pool, and i had to make rice and beans
my arms are still sore from prac. now all this crap made it worse.
then
last night i was talking to martin nd he was reading something out loud.
i think it was a text,
but point is, that his friend called me a whore.
i dun know why because he doesnt even fucking know me.
thats what pisses me off
i knew him *hardly* in 6th grade
where i was the quiet girl in the front of the classroom,
who talked to her friends, and no one else,
and he hasnt seen me since then *minus seths party where we didnt even talk*
and yet he has the fucking balls to call me a whore?!
its like, if he doesnt know me he has nothing to judge,
he should just keep his fucking mouth closed.
usually im the kind of girl who doesnt care what you think or say about me.
so why does this piss me off ?
cause usually the people who talk shit about me,
are at my school, see me mon-fri,
see me with my friends,
and see the way i really act,
so when someone who DOESNT see me like that,
thats when i flip out because it doesnt make sense...
Bloging, right now, isnt helping its getting me madder.
so, im gonna leave it there nd pray that i can ferget about this
and that SOMEONE can put me in a better mood today..
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
in search of adventure-Claudia
Maybe it's because I read way too many books, but I've always been under the illusion that every summer is supposed to be this monumental, unforgettable adventure to tell stories about when you're old. I feel like you're supposed to spend all day at the pool eating ice cream with your best friend from across the street and all night sneaking out and pulling pranks. I also have always believed in summer romances, the intense, bittersweet days at the lake with the guy you will never see again.
This summer has had great moments, but I never feel like my life is an adventure. I never feel like a character from a book or a movie, but I think life is just like that. The rain doesn't fall just to match your feelings, the right song doesn't automatically play while you cry in your car, and adventure is never going to walk right up to you. If I want adventure I have to find it, in a person, in a place, it doesn't matter. I just have to do something to feel like my life matters, to get my story started. Hopefully, high school will do that for me. I'm going to try and pack as many new experiences into the next four years as I can...I don't want my life to be boring any longer.
Sorry if this was cheesy, but yay! My first real post!
This summer has had great moments, but I never feel like my life is an adventure. I never feel like a character from a book or a movie, but I think life is just like that. The rain doesn't fall just to match your feelings, the right song doesn't automatically play while you cry in your car, and adventure is never going to walk right up to you. If I want adventure I have to find it, in a person, in a place, it doesn't matter. I just have to do something to feel like my life matters, to get my story started. Hopefully, high school will do that for me. I'm going to try and pack as many new experiences into the next four years as I can...I don't want my life to be boring any longer.
Sorry if this was cheesy, but yay! My first real post!
Good Days-Brianna
The good days in life.
the ones that you see in the movies
where everything is perfect,
and even fights are fought perfectly
and punches are thrown perfectly,
and the rain falls on your face so.. perfect.
those days.
those days, are the days that make me feel..
Perfect
like at practice this week,
me and my friends joke around, and laugh,
and at lunch, we sit in the middle of the floor
and when we laugh just a little to much,
everyone sees it and wishes they were eating with us.
like, i feel like im actually in high school,
the pretty hair tosses, the slutty girls, the annoying girl everyone hates,
and the fights,
we have all of that... at band camp(:
nd i love it.
like im really sad im not gonna have that at new tech
where there, everythings so.. fake.
but anyways. this whole week has been soo much fun
Yesterday i went to Aprils house (the captain of Color guard.
Shes a senior(:
shes really cool definitely someone to look up to(:
like at her house,
we never ran out of things to talk about.
it was just... a good day(:
the ones that you see in the movies
where everything is perfect,
and even fights are fought perfectly
and punches are thrown perfectly,
and the rain falls on your face so.. perfect.
those days.
those days, are the days that make me feel..
Perfect
like at practice this week,
me and my friends joke around, and laugh,
and at lunch, we sit in the middle of the floor
and when we laugh just a little to much,
everyone sees it and wishes they were eating with us.
like, i feel like im actually in high school,
the pretty hair tosses, the slutty girls, the annoying girl everyone hates,
and the fights,
we have all of that... at band camp(:
nd i love it.
like im really sad im not gonna have that at new tech
where there, everythings so.. fake.
but anyways. this whole week has been soo much fun
Yesterday i went to Aprils house (the captain of Color guard.
Shes a senior(:
shes really cool definitely someone to look up to(:
like at her house,
we never ran out of things to talk about.
it was just... a good day(:
Nothing Much - Lauren
I've not got too much to say, I've been bored out of my mind waiting for school to start. =/
I've just read and watched the first 4 in the Harry Potter series, after finishing the first two eragon books and my summer reading for school. As I've been so bored, I've fallen into my old habit of reading incessantly, and I wonder why I stopped. I guess I ran out of things to read. =/ But It's back now. I've hardly put a book down all week! I made it through three harry potter books just yesterday. The problem is... With the rate I'm reading I'll have read my entire book collection before school starts (well... not really, but almost. O.o) ... ><
Other than reading and taking walks in the morning before it gets too hot the only thing I've been doing is thinking. A lot. My dad joked today that I wasn't very cuddly, and he said "Fine, if you aren't gonna be cuddly you've got to get a boyfriend, because I want Grandkids. Now." I know he's joking, but he's only vaguely joking about the finding a boyfriend thing. It comes up too often to just be a joke. And if it is... It's not very funny.
It's like people just think I'm weird for never having a boyfriend, they think I'm out of touch, or Honestly I've been called a lesbian, though I took little heed from it as my best friend is, so the only insult there is that they thought it was one. But.... It bothers me. As though I LIKE being the only one of my friend group never to have been asked out (I can't say without a boyfriend, Another friend hasn't... But She was asked out by a senior last year and another group friend confesses his love to her everyday in his own weird way, honestly I think while they both oddly resist it now... I think they may end up together one day. He's already infiltrated our group during school, he comes with on our formerly all girl Pizza days, he hangs out with us in the mornings, even when we abandon the group for quieter surroundings...We're stuck with him whether we like it or not - I don't mind most of the time, but sometimes i'd just like a bit of time away from guys with just my friends. ><). I most sincerely do not... I have indeed wondered if there's just something wrong with me, or if I was just that distasteful, or just that not pretty, I mean... When I hang out with the pretty girls in our group who date EVERYONE, it's kinda hard not to wonder these things occasionally.
It's a little sad to watch one of our numbers.... We used to be really close, nearly best friends (if we didn't have existing ones) then there was... Drama we couldn't pass and we didn't talk for about 6 months. Eventually we re-opened communication at school because it was REALLY awkward to be walking with The two of my friends and I lined up with our mutual friend in the middle, both of us involved in the same conversation with one, but completely ignoring each other. But she's... Losing touch. She was this adorable, perky, vaguely geeky in a cute way, tiny little thing that everyone loved, you were hard-pressed to find someone in our group that disliked her. She brought friends together, she welcomed new people to our group, clearly the leader. Now... She's never really worked for what she had looks-wide. Now she's gaining a bit of weight, getting visible cavities, wearing shorter skirts and more revealing shirts, not showering so her hair becomes this greasy, stringy cap on her head, she's not trying, but still expects everyone to love and follow her, when she's had falling outs with most of us at one time or another, when we talk to her again she seems to think that we've completely forgiven and forgotten her wrong-doings without her even admitting there were wrong-doings, she's become spoiled, and is sadly going to find out that things don't just... Happen. You've got to work for them if you've any real desire to make it happen. She can't expect every guy to fall for her, but of course... When you're easy people do anyway. I know that's awful to say, but... It's true.
But, sadly, WAY off topic. =/
I just... I get tired of feeling like I've failed.
I know I haven't... Not really. But... Some people just make me feel that way.
But you know honestly the only thing that keeps most of this at bay most of the time?
A certain someone we all know who brought us all here and her incessant efforts to Fix it.
She's decided it's her job, and sticks to it like a dog on a scent trail.
It gives me hope that my generation doesn't all suck.
And that some people really do still care.
Makes me feel like I can still try.
That there's no reason to give up hope just yet.
Plus she succeeded in something I didn't know was possible.
She brought out my Girly side and released the butterflies, and is determined to make me blush as much as humanly possible by bringing up a certain person at every opportunity.
Maybe there's hope for me yet. ;)
~~I can't set my hopes to high... Cuz every hello ends with a goodbye.
I've just read and watched the first 4 in the Harry Potter series, after finishing the first two eragon books and my summer reading for school. As I've been so bored, I've fallen into my old habit of reading incessantly, and I wonder why I stopped. I guess I ran out of things to read. =/ But It's back now. I've hardly put a book down all week! I made it through three harry potter books just yesterday. The problem is... With the rate I'm reading I'll have read my entire book collection before school starts (well... not really, but almost. O.o) ... ><
Other than reading and taking walks in the morning before it gets too hot the only thing I've been doing is thinking. A lot. My dad joked today that I wasn't very cuddly, and he said "Fine, if you aren't gonna be cuddly you've got to get a boyfriend, because I want Grandkids. Now." I know he's joking, but he's only vaguely joking about the finding a boyfriend thing. It comes up too often to just be a joke. And if it is... It's not very funny.
It's like people just think I'm weird for never having a boyfriend, they think I'm out of touch, or Honestly I've been called a lesbian, though I took little heed from it as my best friend is, so the only insult there is that they thought it was one. But.... It bothers me. As though I LIKE being the only one of my friend group never to have been asked out (I can't say without a boyfriend, Another friend hasn't... But She was asked out by a senior last year and another group friend confesses his love to her everyday in his own weird way, honestly I think while they both oddly resist it now... I think they may end up together one day. He's already infiltrated our group during school, he comes with on our formerly all girl Pizza days, he hangs out with us in the mornings, even when we abandon the group for quieter surroundings...We're stuck with him whether we like it or not - I don't mind most of the time, but sometimes i'd just like a bit of time away from guys with just my friends. ><). I most sincerely do not... I have indeed wondered if there's just something wrong with me, or if I was just that distasteful, or just that not pretty, I mean... When I hang out with the pretty girls in our group who date EVERYONE, it's kinda hard not to wonder these things occasionally.
It's a little sad to watch one of our numbers.... We used to be really close, nearly best friends (if we didn't have existing ones) then there was... Drama we couldn't pass and we didn't talk for about 6 months. Eventually we re-opened communication at school because it was REALLY awkward to be walking with The two of my friends and I lined up with our mutual friend in the middle, both of us involved in the same conversation with one, but completely ignoring each other. But she's... Losing touch. She was this adorable, perky, vaguely geeky in a cute way, tiny little thing that everyone loved, you were hard-pressed to find someone in our group that disliked her. She brought friends together, she welcomed new people to our group, clearly the leader. Now... She's never really worked for what she had looks-wide. Now she's gaining a bit of weight, getting visible cavities, wearing shorter skirts and more revealing shirts, not showering so her hair becomes this greasy, stringy cap on her head, she's not trying, but still expects everyone to love and follow her, when she's had falling outs with most of us at one time or another, when we talk to her again she seems to think that we've completely forgiven and forgotten her wrong-doings without her even admitting there were wrong-doings, she's become spoiled, and is sadly going to find out that things don't just... Happen. You've got to work for them if you've any real desire to make it happen. She can't expect every guy to fall for her, but of course... When you're easy people do anyway. I know that's awful to say, but... It's true.
But, sadly, WAY off topic. =/
I just... I get tired of feeling like I've failed.
I know I haven't... Not really. But... Some people just make me feel that way.
But you know honestly the only thing that keeps most of this at bay most of the time?
A certain someone we all know who brought us all here and her incessant efforts to Fix it.
She's decided it's her job, and sticks to it like a dog on a scent trail.
It gives me hope that my generation doesn't all suck.
And that some people really do still care.
Makes me feel like I can still try.
That there's no reason to give up hope just yet.
Plus she succeeded in something I didn't know was possible.
She brought out my Girly side and released the butterflies, and is determined to make me blush as much as humanly possible by bringing up a certain person at every opportunity.
Maybe there's hope for me yet. ;)
~~I can't set my hopes to high... Cuz every hello ends with a goodbye.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
My Sister...-Brianna
Shes so..
stupid.
thats the nicest thing i can say right now.
shes fergetful
and just flat out stupid.
She "ment" to ask my mom if her boyfriend
could pick us up from practice,
and then have him stay over fer a while.
she fergot to talk to my mom.
about everything,
but fergot to tell him,
that she fergot to talk to my mom
stupid yes ?
anyways so he texts me telling me that hes picking us up and that hes outside already
i thought well i mean maybe mom sent him
so i was like i guess if i have to
then i go tell my sister,
and she asks me "did you tell mom"
so then i told her,
she knew nothing about it
and was soo mad when she found out,
i made Stephen leave
and we ended up going home with Brooke.
but anyways before we left i ewas trying to help my sister put her stuff away
cause brroke was rushing
nd she was taking to long,
all she did was slap my hand away
like really is that necessary?!
stupid.
thats the nicest thing i can say right now.
shes fergetful
and just flat out stupid.
She "ment" to ask my mom if her boyfriend
could pick us up from practice,
and then have him stay over fer a while.
she fergot to talk to my mom.
about everything,
but fergot to tell him,
that she fergot to talk to my mom
stupid yes ?
anyways so he texts me telling me that hes picking us up and that hes outside already
i thought well i mean maybe mom sent him
so i was like i guess if i have to
then i go tell my sister,
and she asks me "did you tell mom"
so then i told her,
she knew nothing about it
and was soo mad when she found out,
i made Stephen leave
and we ended up going home with Brooke.
but anyways before we left i ewas trying to help my sister put her stuff away
cause brroke was rushing
nd she was taking to long,
all she did was slap my hand away
like really is that necessary?!
Monday, August 2, 2010
you...-Brianna
You
Stupid
Immature
Idiot!!!
I kinda hate you right now.
you play to much
you tell me thoughs three words
then she tells them to you
and you ferget ever saying it to me !
yer freaking insane !
i dont wanna get yer hopes up,
but maybe a little pay back is all you need
then youll stop what yer doing to me
cause believe it er not
I ment it when i said it,
and its hurting me,
so much more than it "hurt you"
maybe i was doing the right thing trying to move on,
cause this whole thing,
me just waiting,
is pointless
and i hate wasting time..
Stupid
Immature
Idiot!!!
I kinda hate you right now.
you play to much
you tell me thoughs three words
then she tells them to you
and you ferget ever saying it to me !
yer freaking insane !
i dont wanna get yer hopes up,
but maybe a little pay back is all you need
then youll stop what yer doing to me
cause believe it er not
I ment it when i said it,
and its hurting me,
so much more than it "hurt you"
maybe i was doing the right thing trying to move on,
cause this whole thing,
me just waiting,
is pointless
and i hate wasting time..
I'm not used to this. -Nilsa
It seems like, slowly, guys are starting to "like" me more... okay, actually quickly. between 7th and 8th grade, one person asked me out and one person admitted "feelings" for me. Between 8th and 9th grade, so far, five people have asked me out and another has admitted feelings for me. Out of the six total that have asked, I've said yes to four... is that bad? Nah.
I only wish they were people I liked back (the recent few) but, eh, McCallum is steadly approaching, and I've already been invited to a Get Ready for Mac Party. Score! In fact, band camp (haw-haw, I know) starts tomorrow and I'm pretty excited. Well, for everything other than having to wake up at six AM.
Okay, so basically, I could get used to this. I say that I feel bad turning guys down suddenly, and that they shouldn't like me, but really... It makes me feel... pretty. Is THAT bad? I dunno. But if guys are actually starting to like me, then maybe there's a chance that I might like one of them back. Like, A LOT. Who knows?
I'm moving on from the person who I used to like a lot... it's pointless. But of course, we'll be friends (hopefully) forever.
I only wish they were people I liked back (the recent few) but, eh, McCallum is steadly approaching, and I've already been invited to a Get Ready for Mac Party. Score! In fact, band camp (haw-haw, I know) starts tomorrow and I'm pretty excited. Well, for everything other than having to wake up at six AM.
Okay, so basically, I could get used to this. I say that I feel bad turning guys down suddenly, and that they shouldn't like me, but really... It makes me feel... pretty. Is THAT bad? I dunno. But if guys are actually starting to like me, then maybe there's a chance that I might like one of them back. Like, A LOT. Who knows?
I'm moving on from the person who I used to like a lot... it's pointless. But of course, we'll be friends (hopefully) forever.
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