Same Ole Same Ole- Brianna(:

Everythings...
Okay.
like
theres nothing to freak out about...
anymore.
like
how after the storm,
the waves are calm
the sky is blue
everything,
is better
in some way
does that make sense ?
like last week was NOT my week
at all
but so far this week isnt bad at all
i mean im trying to talk my mom into moving,
my sisters always making homemade cookies,
my singing voice is getting better (i thinkk)
and me and martin...
me and martin..
thats a problem
there is no me and martin
and its weird.
like when were on the phone,
or texting,
or when im simply just thinking about him
i forget that we broke up.
thats never happened with any other of my ex's
Like the way we act towards each other,
the things we tell one another,
its things youd tell your best friend,
and then more.
and its not just me.
he says he forgets sometimes too
for example
we were on the phone
2 nights ago,
and we were joking around about him tutoring me
he was like "yeah ill give yer mom my resume,
ill be like
'yeah hm i can tutor your daughter Brianna Sanchez
...ha uhh i mean Miller"
(not putting my real last name, or his xD)
so see,
he fergets too
and it sucks to think that like
even though we want to,
or at least I want to,
we cant.
i always say follow yer gut instinct
but theres always certain times when you should just
listen to yer heart
or head
and go with the flow..
you know lately i feel like..
like hes gonna make up his mind.
like Since Sunday morning
we havent had a single conversation about Lexi
that doesnt mean hes thinking about her,
it just...
i dont know what it means
but like its cool to know that our conversations are gonna be
funny
or boring
or the FUN
instead about how he feels about my best friend.
not that its a bad thing when he tells me
cause i mean im always gonna be there fer him no matter what
its just,
its hard giving him advice because the advice i would tell someone else
would sound like i just want him to ferget about her, move on,
and ask me back out,
when really, i dun care about that
i just want him doing whats best fer him
and what makes him happy.
weather it be me,
or waiting around fer lexi.
see back to us acting as if we didnt break up,
a few nights ago we were on the phone
and listening to music
he said i have two songs
There Goes My Baby- Usher
and
Your Love- Nikkie minaj
and i gave him one
Trouble- Nevershoutnever
i couldve thought of a better one but thats the first one i saw nd was like
yeah totally fer him
anyways
then he said OUR song is
got your back t.i ft keri hilson
makes sense.
because we do have each others back,
no matter what happens.
so i might move
into the real Manor
not where i live now.
and i found two houses that i like that are in
guess whos neighborhood ?
Martins.
i showed the one i like the most to my mom
she said she liked it
but that we cant move right now.
not cool.
i have my reasons fer wanting to move
and yet she doesnt get it
like she told me to make sure its okay with everyone...
its okay with everyone (minus her)
she said make sure itll be better than it is here
its better than it is here!!!
like the house itself
is bigger.
theres two parks.
and then a huge one like 5 minutes away
theres a dollar general like right next to the entrance to the neighborhood
its two stories,
and its cheaper than this house.
i mean you gotta lose money to make money right ?
i guess...
its just the Same Ole Same Ole in my lifee..
************
:)Brianna(:

"Listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye"

i need to get away.- brianna

far from here.
far from "home"
far from the problems that are here
far from the boys
far from my phone.
far from everything
just clear my mind
fix my emotions
and get my mask back
lately i've let my gaurd down
and took off my mask
nd i dun like it
its just,
not me.
i dun know
i wish i could go back to
Galveston
the beach.
the amazing
relaxing
beautiful
peaceful
beach.
so calming
and with the waves wash away any doubts
and neggitivity
and clear youre thoughts
and its just...
perfect there.
even when the waves get crazy
like its the one thing you know will always be there fer you
unless...
one day yer mom makes you move half way across the country,
and now the thing that made you so happy,and was only 5 minutes away
is now, four hours away.
and its just not the same.
i dun know.
i guess the beach is symbolic to me.
since in Texas ive been happy,
but i havent been as happy as i was at home
texas isnt home
i guess the Beach is the one thing that always kept me happy
i mean in G-ston
i felt like a little girl again
all my worries dissapeard.
like i didnt even care that i was in a fight with Martin
nothing else mattered
i miss it.
thats the one thing i can say i love with everything in my body
i guess i just need to i dun know
get away.
well im going out tonight
i dun know what time ill get back
but who cares,
my sisters here with her boyfriend again
so my moms got a lot on her plate
shitt...
if i told my mom half the things i know...
if only..