Oscar: Oh lord. My best friend. The best friend anyone could ask for. Hes always there for me, i could text him at four in the morning and hed reply asap. i could tell him i was lonely and hed call me and make me smile. Hes so..perfect. Dude im slowly falling for this boy. i dont want to. Best friends going out NEVER works. Perfect example: Martin. I dont want what happened with him to happen to Oscar, ever. i want Oscar in my life forever. No joke. best friend, boyfriend, husband, and i dont care. Hes the only one that can make me laugh when im sad or mad, hes the only one that i tell everything to. If he leaves,who do i turn to? I know that i have lexi and nilsa, but theyre so far away and its hard for us to make plans. me and Oscar are like "lets chill" "when ans where" its that easy for us. Thats the main reason i count on him the most. I loove him to death. Ugh it drives me insane how perfect we are for each other! like on our date?! He was a toootal gentleman! Opened doors, let me in/out first, walked on the correct side of me *yes theres a correct side to stand on* he walked me to the door, said hello to my family, kissed me goodbye, and to this day *almost a week later* he doesnt stop telling me how pretty i looked or how it was one of his favorite memories of 2010. we have the same taste in most music, style of clothes the opposite sex should wear, life, how to act, how a guy should treat a guy, how a girl should treat a guy, difference between lady and a girl, difference between a boy and a man, and we both agree that we would be really cute together. why arent we? ask him. I dont ask guys out. We call each other baby and babe occasionally, weve gone out on a date, talking about a second one, he showers me with compliments, tells me he loves me, and that im a great person, and blah blah blah, wheres the "brianna, will you go out with me?" where?! I hate to say it, but im waiting for it. I dont want to. At all. i want to go back to being just best friends. no feelings towards him.He told me he thinks he treats me like a girlfriend. I dont disagree, but i dont think its so wrong either. We're best friends you know? And hes a guy and im a girl, of course were gonna treat each other like a couple, its how it works sometimes. most of the times. and aside from that its normal for people to think we should go out, they think theres something there when really were just best friends.
Man, I dont even know whats going on in my life. Like life is sooo complicated. It's hard to see wahts really important whats not. So I think this blog post is gonna be reaaaalllllyyy long. and im just gonna go on and on about whats going on in my head, whats going on at school, home, ect.
So im in desperate need of a sister. A real sister. Like one that cares about me. and who'll listen to me, and talk to me, and *this might sound soo lame but* play with me. you know, joke with me, hang out, be my best friend. I dont have that. I dont even really consider her a sister. shes just related to me. Thats all. No "oh yeah this is my big amazing awesome sister" No, "Yeah we're related." thats it. Last night i told her i needed to talk to her about some important things and she replied "Well hurry cause im about to go play Fable" so i told her id talk to her tomorrow. I didnt. she hasnt asked. Honestly, i know she could care less. My mom thinks shes on drugs.. am i surprised? No. I do too. I found birth control in her wallet today.. again, am i surprised? Not at all. Disappointed? a bit more than slightly. Its whatever. I dont wanna jump to cunclussions... except whenever ANYONE finds birth control, first thoughts? yeah i thought so. and i mean i know that it helps make your period more chilled, but knowing my sister, she could care less about a chilled period.
My moms been pissing me off lately. Like i was suppsoed to get the new ipod touch for Christmas if i had 50 dollars. guess who got 80? Well she told me that the money should go towards something i need instead of something i want. i see her point, but im a kid, money never goes to what i need, and Christmas isnt when you get it if it ever does. If it was my birthday money, id think it over a lot more.
Second thing: My birthday. this year, im gonna be 15. a big deal to mexicans. I dont want a HUUUGE party, but i dont want a typical dinner with the family. Im looking at more of a dinner at Cannoli Joes then an after party at my house. Nothing huge, but its something. Friends and family could all be there, not to expensive, and still loads of fun. Anyways, so my mom hasnt started saving and its like i know we have 10 months, but these things take loads of money, which we seem to have none of. this time last year we had my sisters, we started planning hers before my birthday. My moms not to worried about mine. Not sure if its because she knows i dont want anything to big, or because she knows we cant afford anything to big, or because she could cae less. Doubt its the third one but you never know.
Marcos. Hot senior. Not gonna lie, he is pretty hot. But I dont like him any more. Like i guess it was just a tiny crush. After he told me about the girl he likes, i got over it. I'm glad i did too cause i felt a bit to attached anyways. Althogh ive only known him for like 3 months, ive gone through a lot with him. Surprisingly i have. Ive gone through more with him than with any other boy. Not emotionally but still. I think i changed for him. I mean not all just for him but for the most part. Im a bit disappointed in myself but its to late to take it back, just gotta learn from that mistake. I had fun while it lasted though, i dont really regret much. infact i think its safe to say i dont regret anything ive done with him, or said to him. It was flattering i suppose. I just hope I think the same when he gets around me at school. its easier said than done though.. Oh well whatever.
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