So, I just got home from camp. Home from a week at Nilsa's house. Home from a week of real food, hot showers, and females. I get home and immediately dad's griping and already we're cleaning house. I started feeling sick, so I'm in my room right now... But yeah. I wasn't even home yet and last night he was lecturing me. >< It was just a bit tiring. BUT Despite that... This week has been the best week... Possibly ever. XD
Sunday I met up with Nilsa Ben and Holly at the UU Church for setup, then Nilsa and I went back to her house and hung out, watched Dr. Horrible, had Ice Cream, caught up. ^_^ Monday was the first of five days of camp, and I spent the week with Destry cuz He was Head Boy and I was Head Girl. =) He wasn't there Wednesday, and I was really bored cuz I had to wander around without a real Job alone. >.> Boriiiing. Lol. But the rest of the week was prettymuch amazing. <3 Monday was Diagon alley, kids got cloaks, robes, bags, coins, wands. ^_^ Destry helped with Quiddich and I helped with Chess(Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday). Tuesday was the first day of classes, We helped in the potions room getting rid of the nasty potion they made, all shorts of nasty stuff caked onto the bottom, and it STANK thanks to the dragon's blood (Cabbage Juice) In it. >< Wednesday I re-knotted blankets for greyhound pets of america that the kids messed up, thursday we helped with Dry Potions, which was edible stuff, and the kids were crazy and hyper and it was hilarious. XD Geordi made an Instant Purging Potion, which was awful, Destry tried it, and if he'd had the whole thing... I think his potion would've worked. Smelled like Vomit and Tuna, tasted like vomit and cough syrup, looke like soupy pink vomit. >< It was DISGUSTING. Lol. ^_^ Yesterday the four of us original promises had a little reunion and left Francesca a Message with Livin on a Tiger on it, I love the others too but it was really nice to have the four of us together again. ^_^ Destry and I after then when class started wandered around, blew up water balloons in the most fail way possible, saw the stars in the astronomy tent. =3 it was fun, then there was the great feast, kinda gross bean soup and bread and butter the kids made (so we didn't get any, cuz we didn't make any ><) then all the prefects got to hang out in room 11 (our room), and Vicki got us pizza, and we had an amazing time. =) We're all really sad it's over... but we DON'T plan on waiting another year to all get together like last time, NoNoNo. Not again. We're already trying to plan one. ^_^
Nilsa and I had a lot of really girly giggly chats about... Well girly stuff. =O Liking people, things we wish guys knew (Which our whole huge group actually ended up talking about yesterday), everything. ^_^ It was prettymuch awesome. Sam and I never really had talks like that... She's not like that.
Nilsa is pretty much like the little sister I never had. ^_^ Andi came in one day and told Nilsa and I that our mom was here, and It made me smile. I like her mom a lot more than my own. >< To tell the truth it would be pretty amazing to be a part of that family, it's so comfortable and there's far less DUDE than in mine, I live with three sloppy guys and a male cat, I get real tired of trying to explain certain things to dudes, or like... I dunno. Sounds emo and cliche, but I don't really mean it in that way, it's just that they don't get me, what guy REALLY gets girls? some people get individual girls, but not like... ALL girls. >< I dunno, My family tires me out. I love them, but It was really nice to have a break, and I wish it wasn't over quite yet. >.> (That makes me feel kinda bad to say it, but it's true.) I sometimes think they wouldn't really function without me, my brother is a lazy emo kid who sleeps all day and won't get up unless there's something in it for him or when he wants to get up. My dad is usually depressed and snaps at people all the time, he has lost prettymuch all faith in humanity, he gripes and complains.. My uncle is a hermit who doesn't like to be around people much... He would far rather talk to people on WoW than in real life. It's ridiculous. So... Being with calm, happy, Girls all week was nice. I fit in at their family. I really enjoyed it. ^_^
I've never had a song in my head for more than like a day.. MAYBE two. But I have had a song in my head ALL week. Catch Me by Demi Lovato... It's really catchy and sweet, the lyrics are clever, and I just have to get over the fact that she's a disney channel star. >< I'm like... In love with this song. =) Nilsa showed it to me and it's so sweet. It's like... really true too. At one point I was singing the chorus quietly to myself and there's this part that goes 'But you're so hypnotizing, you got me laughin while I sing you got me smilin in my... Sleep' and It's so true. It happened to me, when I was singing it. ^_^ and There was much smiling done. ^///^ It's just an adorable song I relate to, and it's been stuck in my head all week. But I guess i don't mind too much. <3
So, basically... Harry Potter Camp? best thing ever.
And if she ever reads this....
Holly... GET OUT! XD Lol
<3
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Change- B R I A N N A
thats all everything,
and everyone,
ever does.
Change
some times fer the best
and some times fer the worst.
i dun know why,
but i started thinking about that right now
and i thought it'd be a cool intro.
So this week,
i joined Color Guard
its sooo much fun !
since im going to new tech
and they have no Arts department,
i thought i should do something,
V-ball would be to much,
with games making me leave around 3,
practice making me tired,
and then all my projects and junk.
it was like a last minute thing,
i missed the first day,
and out of no where
i just decided to do it.
this week practice was mon-thurs. 9-12
next week, its gonna be mon-fri 9-4
im gonna be insanely tired.
but its all worth it,
ill get 4 hour bus rides with the girls, the band
nd insanely hot football players(:
ill get some what of a high school experience,
aaand when Manor has pep rallys theyre gonna take me outta school,
take me over there,
and then keep me there fer the rest of the day(:
like its awesome im gonna get to miss a lot of school,
but still go to the school thats "best" fer my education.
with all that going on,
ive only got the weekends free,
but thats when i relax.
like theres no time fer my best friends any more.
last night Lexi texted me wanting to make plans i was all up fer it
but tomorrow im going to Hutto,
and sunday would only be during the day cause monday ive got practice.
and i want a GNO asap with Lexi nd Nilsa,
but our schedules just dont match up.
it really sucks.
if were all busy now in the summer,
imagine when school starts !
i hate how were all going to different high schools.
i mean its making our bonds stronger,
and giving us more to talk about,
but its not the same.
like i wont know about the Hotties nilsa talks about
i wont know the snooty cheerleaders lexi gossips about
and they wont know about the douches i go on about.
but anyways.
last night,
my ex boyfriend Jesus called me,
and i actually answered this time
we talked til about 11 then my phone started to die
so we got off.
we joked around like we always do,
then he got quiet
i asked whats wrong
he said "i miss you so much..."
like not "man i miss you i need to see you"
but
"i miss you i want you back"
i'll admit, i still wish we wouldnt have broken up.
maybe cause he was the first,
who knows,
but theres no way im getting back with him,
first, we wont see each other.
like ever.
second, he throws around "i love you" waaaay to muchhh.
third
im not looking for a relationship any more.
i mean when the time comes, ill find Prince Charming,
and hell take me to my ball
and we'll live happily ever after(:
and everyone,
ever does.
Change
some times fer the best
and some times fer the worst.
i dun know why,
but i started thinking about that right now
and i thought it'd be a cool intro.
So this week,
i joined Color Guard
its sooo much fun !
since im going to new tech
and they have no Arts department,
i thought i should do something,
V-ball would be to much,
with games making me leave around 3,
practice making me tired,
and then all my projects and junk.
it was like a last minute thing,
i missed the first day,
and out of no where
i just decided to do it.
this week practice was mon-thurs. 9-12
next week, its gonna be mon-fri 9-4
im gonna be insanely tired.
but its all worth it,
ill get 4 hour bus rides with the girls, the band
nd insanely hot football players(:
ill get some what of a high school experience,
aaand when Manor has pep rallys theyre gonna take me outta school,
take me over there,
and then keep me there fer the rest of the day(:
like its awesome im gonna get to miss a lot of school,
but still go to the school thats "best" fer my education.
with all that going on,
ive only got the weekends free,
but thats when i relax.
like theres no time fer my best friends any more.
last night Lexi texted me wanting to make plans i was all up fer it
but tomorrow im going to Hutto,
and sunday would only be during the day cause monday ive got practice.
and i want a GNO asap with Lexi nd Nilsa,
but our schedules just dont match up.
it really sucks.
if were all busy now in the summer,
imagine when school starts !
i hate how were all going to different high schools.
i mean its making our bonds stronger,
and giving us more to talk about,
but its not the same.
like i wont know about the Hotties nilsa talks about
i wont know the snooty cheerleaders lexi gossips about
and they wont know about the douches i go on about.
but anyways.
last night,
my ex boyfriend Jesus called me,
and i actually answered this time
we talked til about 11 then my phone started to die
so we got off.
we joked around like we always do,
then he got quiet
i asked whats wrong
he said "i miss you so much..."
like not "man i miss you i need to see you"
but
"i miss you i want you back"
i'll admit, i still wish we wouldnt have broken up.
maybe cause he was the first,
who knows,
but theres no way im getting back with him,
first, we wont see each other.
like ever.
second, he throws around "i love you" waaaay to muchhh.
third
im not looking for a relationship any more.
i mean when the time comes, ill find Prince Charming,
and hell take me to my ball
and we'll live happily ever after(:
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Big News- Brianna
Yesterday,
me and my mom went to my grandparents house.
my grandma and mom remind me of me and a friend.
always gossiping
spilling dirty
taking trash
all that jazz.
well yesterday we got news that 2 of my distant uncles are..
in jail.
Horrible reasons too..
like its weird to think that i have blood relatives
doing crazy things like that
and if im in this much shock,
imagine my cousins,
their wifes.
brothers
sisters
daughters
sons.
like it must suck
big fat hairy balls.
Im not allowed to tell anyone the reasons
and if i cant tell them in a simple text
or phone conversation,
then im not about to tell the whole world.
Anyways.
so my sister was with her boyfriend all day yesterday from noon til around 6.
wanna know what they were doing ?
buying a mouth piece for her clarinet.
im sorry sweetie, were not stupid.
it takes 15 minutes to get to the store,
10 to get the piece 5 to pay
15 to get back home.
thats not even an hour.
about 2 hours after they left she asks if they can go
eat at a Jack In The Box.
my mom said fine.
it doesnt take 4 hours to eat and come home.
especially not a FAST food place.
when she finally got to their house,
i opened the door for them
guess who had a little hickey ?
yeah but not on yer neck.
her shirt was low cut and...
i saw it.
i think thats why she wanted the foundation so badly
so she can easily cover up her hickeys
but who knows.
anyways so my mom saw it too.
but guess who didnt get in trouble ?
all she got was a
"yeah i saw that hickey dont act like yer that innocent"
its weird to think that i got my first kiss at 13,
she got hers at 14,
and within the same year,
lost her virginity.
like it bothers me.
how can you have yer first kiss, and lose yer virginity in less than 6 months period ?
it doesnt make sense to me,
anyways.
last night i had a dream about my best friend
my best friend at heart who will never be replaced by anyone
whos still with me, watching over me, guiding me, protecting me.
Fatima, My best friend, who died at the age of nine.
She was in 8th grade just like she would be if she were with us still,
and our whole 8th grade class took a trip to Galveston including Manor middle.
we were still best friends
the bus ride there, she was wearing my jacket and i was wearing hers
just like we would in fourth grade.
we were joking around, and laughing
and smiling. together.
i was sitting next to her.
why did my mom have to wake me up ?!
its not fair
for the first time in years i have a dream about her,
and my mom wakes me up
i miss her so much.
i wish we could go into high school together.
i wish that she was still alive
i wish she never went to the carnival
and never got on that ride
and never fell off
and never moved.
never left me in the first place.
i wish we never got into that fight a week before she moved
that wouldve been a week i could of had to talk to her,
to tell her how amazing she is nd how much i love her
for being my friend when no one else would
for being there when no one else was.
She was such an amazing person.
if she were still alive she would have tons of friends.
she was beautiful.
she was sweet,caring,out going, not shy at all, active,
she would be an amazing person.
she still is, its just now, shes in heaven waiting for me.
i miss her.
since '05 Christmas isnt the same.
like something Nilsa pointed out was that
every year when December comes
you get that feeling in yer stomach and yer like
look its almost Christmas
when she pointed that out
i realized that i havent had that feeling since '04
Because on December 19th 2005 my best friend Died.
***********
Rest In Peace Love,
Fatima Cervantes 1996-2005
http://www.news8austin.com/content/top_stories/152276/girl-dies-after-falling-from-carnival-ride/?ap=1&Flash
me and my mom went to my grandparents house.
my grandma and mom remind me of me and a friend.
always gossiping
spilling dirty
taking trash
all that jazz.
well yesterday we got news that 2 of my distant uncles are..
in jail.
Horrible reasons too..
like its weird to think that i have blood relatives
doing crazy things like that
and if im in this much shock,
imagine my cousins,
their wifes.
brothers
sisters
daughters
sons.
like it must suck
big fat hairy balls.
Im not allowed to tell anyone the reasons
and if i cant tell them in a simple text
or phone conversation,
then im not about to tell the whole world.
Anyways.
so my sister was with her boyfriend all day yesterday from noon til around 6.
wanna know what they were doing ?
buying a mouth piece for her clarinet.
im sorry sweetie, were not stupid.
it takes 15 minutes to get to the store,
10 to get the piece 5 to pay
15 to get back home.
thats not even an hour.
about 2 hours after they left she asks if they can go
eat at a Jack In The Box.
my mom said fine.
it doesnt take 4 hours to eat and come home.
especially not a FAST food place.
when she finally got to their house,
i opened the door for them
guess who had a little hickey ?
yeah but not on yer neck.
her shirt was low cut and...
i saw it.
i think thats why she wanted the foundation so badly
so she can easily cover up her hickeys
but who knows.
anyways so my mom saw it too.
but guess who didnt get in trouble ?
all she got was a
"yeah i saw that hickey dont act like yer that innocent"
its weird to think that i got my first kiss at 13,
she got hers at 14,
and within the same year,
lost her virginity.
like it bothers me.
how can you have yer first kiss, and lose yer virginity in less than 6 months period ?
it doesnt make sense to me,
anyways.
last night i had a dream about my best friend
my best friend at heart who will never be replaced by anyone
whos still with me, watching over me, guiding me, protecting me.
Fatima, My best friend, who died at the age of nine.
She was in 8th grade just like she would be if she were with us still,
and our whole 8th grade class took a trip to Galveston including Manor middle.
we were still best friends
the bus ride there, she was wearing my jacket and i was wearing hers
just like we would in fourth grade.
we were joking around, and laughing
and smiling. together.
i was sitting next to her.
why did my mom have to wake me up ?!
its not fair
for the first time in years i have a dream about her,
and my mom wakes me up
i miss her so much.
i wish we could go into high school together.
i wish that she was still alive
i wish she never went to the carnival
and never got on that ride
and never fell off
and never moved.
never left me in the first place.
i wish we never got into that fight a week before she moved
that wouldve been a week i could of had to talk to her,
to tell her how amazing she is nd how much i love her
for being my friend when no one else would
for being there when no one else was.
She was such an amazing person.
if she were still alive she would have tons of friends.
she was beautiful.
she was sweet,caring,out going, not shy at all, active,
she would be an amazing person.
she still is, its just now, shes in heaven waiting for me.
i miss her.
since '05 Christmas isnt the same.
like something Nilsa pointed out was that
every year when December comes
you get that feeling in yer stomach and yer like
look its almost Christmas
when she pointed that out
i realized that i havent had that feeling since '04
Because on December 19th 2005 my best friend Died.
***********
Rest In Peace Love,
Fatima Cervantes 1996-2005
http://www.news8austin.com/content/top_stories/152276/girl-dies-after-falling-from-carnival-ride/?ap=1&Flash
Positive stuff! - Lauren
Most of this blog is all problems and stuff, so I'm gonna take this opportunity to say some happy stuff!
My first babysitting job today, babysat Montanna's little sister at the pool for 4.5 hours, it was awesome but MAN that girl never gets tired. XD got 15 dollars, admission to the YMCA, two dresses, a shirt, dinner, and Ice cream. ^_^ All in all, good 6 hours. XD (Plus Montanna and I got to hang out in goodwill and try on obnoxious clothes like Idiots. X3 lol
I'm leaving for a week at Nilsa's house for Potter Camp tomorrow! I seriously can't wait. XD I haven't seen the guys since Halloween, and we haven't all been together since camp last year! It's been far too long. (The only sad part is missing Francesca. :( WHY MUST FLORIDA STEAL MY FRIENDS?!)I can't wait to be out of my house for a week, I love my family but.. I WANT TO MURDER THEM ALL. Jk, but seriously, they are REALLY getting on my nerves, a week away will be awesome for me. ^_^
I now have 75 bucks, having money is a good thing. ^_^ I babysat, and one of my dad's friends payed me $10 a shirt to adjust 5 of her t-shirts so they fit right. and $10 more to re-wrap the straps of her favorite purse with new fabric. =D
I fixed up my favorite shoes I thought were dead with a hot glue gun (I <3 hot glue... Best stuff Everrr). High Tops with the Heart Grenade on them (Green Day lolz).
Things may be looking up with Sam, She actually told me to text her when I asked her what was wrong on FB instead of ignoring it like normal, and we had a real (Albeit short) conversation about problems Between her and an Ex, and kinda sideways about us. It was progress. =)
So, I'm doing much better than the other day. ^_^ I'm Happy and Excited. Can't wait till camp!!!!
~~Lauren~~
P.S. If anyone Cares, I have another Blog, http://www.lovelyricslove.blogspot.com where I take a song, post the lyrics, and then write a description of why I picked it and why it applies to me. =D
My first babysitting job today, babysat Montanna's little sister at the pool for 4.5 hours, it was awesome but MAN that girl never gets tired. XD got 15 dollars, admission to the YMCA, two dresses, a shirt, dinner, and Ice cream. ^_^ All in all, good 6 hours. XD (Plus Montanna and I got to hang out in goodwill and try on obnoxious clothes like Idiots. X3 lol
I'm leaving for a week at Nilsa's house for Potter Camp tomorrow! I seriously can't wait. XD I haven't seen the guys since Halloween, and we haven't all been together since camp last year! It's been far too long. (The only sad part is missing Francesca. :( WHY MUST FLORIDA STEAL MY FRIENDS?!)I can't wait to be out of my house for a week, I love my family but.. I WANT TO MURDER THEM ALL. Jk, but seriously, they are REALLY getting on my nerves, a week away will be awesome for me. ^_^
I now have 75 bucks, having money is a good thing. ^_^ I babysat, and one of my dad's friends payed me $10 a shirt to adjust 5 of her t-shirts so they fit right. and $10 more to re-wrap the straps of her favorite purse with new fabric. =D
I fixed up my favorite shoes I thought were dead with a hot glue gun (I <3 hot glue... Best stuff Everrr). High Tops with the Heart Grenade on them (Green Day lolz).
Things may be looking up with Sam, She actually told me to text her when I asked her what was wrong on FB instead of ignoring it like normal, and we had a real (Albeit short) conversation about problems Between her and an Ex, and kinda sideways about us. It was progress. =)
So, I'm doing much better than the other day. ^_^ I'm Happy and Excited. Can't wait till camp!!!!
~~Lauren~~
P.S. If anyone Cares, I have another Blog, http://www.lovelyricslove.blogspot.com where I take a song, post the lyrics, and then write a description of why I picked it and why it applies to me. =D
Friday, July 23, 2010
To all the girls in my life(:-Brianna
im always ranting on guys
so i thought id make up for it by talking about
the wonderfully crazy amusing ladies in my life(:
lets start withhh
My sister.
Alexis.
Sissy
Hoe
whatever you wanna call her.
although at times shes the best thing,
a lot of the times..
she isnt.
for example
something i brought up with my brother yesterday
when she decided to lose her virginity,
she didnt think about the possibility
of my mom finding out any time soon.
well luckily,
my mom did
making her 100000000x's more strict and protective of not only her
but of me to.
like a few weeks ago i went to the park with a few guys.
i didnt want my mom assuming anything so i asked my brother to go
plus hes not half badd(:
but anyways on the way there she questioned me about 10 times about who was going
if i didnt list the same people every single time shed ask me about itt.
like at first nilsa was going then she said she couldnt
so when my mom asked i didnt list her
she asked me "and Nilssa? so its just you and 3 boys?!"
its like before everything with my sister happened
she wouldve still asked,
but not 10 times.
she would still be like one girl 3 boys, doesnt look good.
but she wouldve let it slide cause she would know she could trust us.
Seths Party.
perfect example
i didnt know me and lexi were gonna be the only girls there.
anyways it was like 6 guys nd 2 girls.
she asked me straight up
are you two gonna be the only girls there?
like i understand her concerns but she should trust me.
im not like my sister.
i have more common sense than she does.
like ive stated before,
i was forced to grow up quickly.
and i mean yeah at one point i was like
"oh yeah look at me im so bad ass i give my mom attitude i talk back"
but name one kid that doesnt go through that stage ?
but anyways like i was saying
i cant leave the house without being questioned even if im just going over to Nilsas house.
and its so frustrating cause before this she would say yes almost 100% of the time
but now its like not even a 50 50 chanceee.
and then the other little tiny times that shes amazing
were joking around
and laughing
and shes actually smiling
and you can tell shes having fun
shes my best friend at times,
i tell her everything
and she comes to me fer help
and i help her i mean thats what sisters are for right?
like over the summer were always messing around and one time we had Brooke over
*brookes our cousin*
and we had watched Keeping up with The Kardashians earlier that day
my brother jokes around saying we should have our own reality tv show.
and that just tells you how crazy we can get(:
moving onn.
My momm. shes so amazing.
shes my hero.
no joke.
she married my dad,
had 3 kids,
and a few months after the third one,
he left.
no reason as to why just couldnt handle it i guess.
yet some how my mom managed to find a way to support the four of us
without a degree
without help from anyone
in a city as expensive and San Diego
and still to this day she hasnt left our side
she didnt take the easy way out
and give us up for adoption like my dad told her to.
nd theres no way i can thank her enough for it.
Alexis.
Sleeping Beauty(:
we've been best friends since sixth grade.
we've gotten splitten up
lost contact
and called each other twice
and saw each other once
in a two year period
this past year
we went to school together,
and then got split up again
but this time theres no doubt that were gonna talk to each other just as much
and hopefully she'll go to high school with me(:
nothings coming between us,
and this whole thing with martin,
a lot of girls would let it ruin their friendship
but not us(:
what can we sayy,
were different
nd i cant wait til the day comes and we buy our 14 bedroom house together(:
Nislaa(:
shes prob the best thing since the internet(:
when no one else is,
shes always there
shes not closed minded
and thats what i love about her
she asks for advice
listens to it
and then decides whether to take it or not
shes got a passion for the arts and she doesnt hide it(:
she grew up at the same speed as me.
we know more about life than half the grads. out there
shes amazing and spontaneous(:
Her and lexi are basically the best thing that happened to me(:
i love all of these ladies very much nd wouldnt trade them fer the worldd(:
so i thought id make up for it by talking about
the wonderfully crazy amusing ladies in my life(:
lets start withhh
My sister.
Alexis.
Sissy
Hoe
whatever you wanna call her.
although at times shes the best thing,
a lot of the times..
she isnt.
for example
something i brought up with my brother yesterday
when she decided to lose her virginity,
she didnt think about the possibility
of my mom finding out any time soon.
well luckily,
my mom did
making her 100000000x's more strict and protective of not only her
but of me to.
like a few weeks ago i went to the park with a few guys.
i didnt want my mom assuming anything so i asked my brother to go
plus hes not half badd(:
but anyways on the way there she questioned me about 10 times about who was going
if i didnt list the same people every single time shed ask me about itt.
like at first nilsa was going then she said she couldnt
so when my mom asked i didnt list her
she asked me "and Nilssa? so its just you and 3 boys?!"
its like before everything with my sister happened
she wouldve still asked,
but not 10 times.
she would still be like one girl 3 boys, doesnt look good.
but she wouldve let it slide cause she would know she could trust us.
Seths Party.
perfect example
i didnt know me and lexi were gonna be the only girls there.
anyways it was like 6 guys nd 2 girls.
she asked me straight up
are you two gonna be the only girls there?
like i understand her concerns but she should trust me.
im not like my sister.
i have more common sense than she does.
like ive stated before,
i was forced to grow up quickly.
and i mean yeah at one point i was like
"oh yeah look at me im so bad ass i give my mom attitude i talk back"
but name one kid that doesnt go through that stage ?
but anyways like i was saying
i cant leave the house without being questioned even if im just going over to Nilsas house.
and its so frustrating cause before this she would say yes almost 100% of the time
but now its like not even a 50 50 chanceee.
and then the other little tiny times that shes amazing
were joking around
and laughing
and shes actually smiling
and you can tell shes having fun
shes my best friend at times,
i tell her everything
and she comes to me fer help
and i help her i mean thats what sisters are for right?
like over the summer were always messing around and one time we had Brooke over
*brookes our cousin*
and we had watched Keeping up with The Kardashians earlier that day
my brother jokes around saying we should have our own reality tv show.
and that just tells you how crazy we can get(:
moving onn.
My momm. shes so amazing.
shes my hero.
no joke.
she married my dad,
had 3 kids,
and a few months after the third one,
he left.
no reason as to why just couldnt handle it i guess.
yet some how my mom managed to find a way to support the four of us
without a degree
without help from anyone
in a city as expensive and San Diego
and still to this day she hasnt left our side
she didnt take the easy way out
and give us up for adoption like my dad told her to.
nd theres no way i can thank her enough for it.
Alexis.
Sleeping Beauty(:
we've been best friends since sixth grade.
we've gotten splitten up
lost contact
and called each other twice
and saw each other once
in a two year period
this past year
we went to school together,
and then got split up again
but this time theres no doubt that were gonna talk to each other just as much
and hopefully she'll go to high school with me(:
nothings coming between us,
and this whole thing with martin,
a lot of girls would let it ruin their friendship
but not us(:
what can we sayy,
were different
nd i cant wait til the day comes and we buy our 14 bedroom house together(:
Nislaa(:
shes prob the best thing since the internet(:
when no one else is,
shes always there
shes not closed minded
and thats what i love about her
she asks for advice
listens to it
and then decides whether to take it or not
shes got a passion for the arts and she doesnt hide it(:
she grew up at the same speed as me.
we know more about life than half the grads. out there
shes amazing and spontaneous(:
Her and lexi are basically the best thing that happened to me(:
i love all of these ladies very much nd wouldnt trade them fer the worldd(:
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Everythings going down hill.-Brianna
things are so
bad
everythings wrong
its not supposed to be like this
were supposed to be friends
everythings supposed to be at least okay
but no.
its all wrong
today i started thinking about my dad.
partially because of nilsas post
but mostly because i told someone a secret about him
when i was supposed to move with him to Arizona
i ended up staying.
not because i didnt want to,
or it was too much,
or even because my mom convinced me to stay
but because he didnt want me to..
it hurt me so much when he told me up front
"i cant have kids ruining my life, even if they are mine"
i've never admitted to myself how much it hurt me until now.
until today.
until i realized how much guys tend to hurt me.
like i find it horrible that my dad doesnt know a single thing about me.
from the smallest things like
my favorite color,
or what i wanna be when i grow up
to the big stuff like
my age.
he doesnt remember how old i am.
like thats not okay
hes my dad,
yeah he wasnt there when i was born,
but im sure he got a call
like was i really that BIG of a mistake!?
and yeah, fer the first time,
ive finally admitted to myself,
and to everyone,
that i was the mistake child.
its not that big of a deal
but like it sucks knowing that
you were the kids the parents didnt really want.
im sure my moms greatful fer such amazing kids,
but still i always keep that in the back of my mind.
today me and martin talked about things that have been on my mind fer a while
i dun even know if we ended the conversation on a good note,
i dunt know if its okay to text him tomorrow,
i dont know if were ever gonna talk again.
its obvious that i was just a back up.
he practically told me so.
the way he makes everything sound,
its like... i dunno.
i just have high doubts in us ever getting back together
and at this point i dont even care.
like im just so done, waiting around,
waiting fer my heart get broken.
thats all im really doing,
just waiting around for him to wake up and realize
that he never loved me,
and that hes done with him.
nmaybe its better it ended this way.
everythings out on the table,
nothings left inside of me to say to him,
and now, im okay to move on without feeling guilty.
when my mom gets home im gonna talk to her about
going to the district offices and let me transfer
to McCallum high
possibly not my freshman year
but fer sure sophomore and up.
i just want to go to a school thatll actually get me further in life.
like im not doing anything with Tech.
so why would i go to New TECH ?!
Mccallums got a great arts program so i mean
why not just go there right??!
*****************
Brianna**
bad
everythings wrong
its not supposed to be like this
were supposed to be friends
everythings supposed to be at least okay
but no.
its all wrong
today i started thinking about my dad.
partially because of nilsas post
but mostly because i told someone a secret about him
when i was supposed to move with him to Arizona
i ended up staying.
not because i didnt want to,
or it was too much,
or even because my mom convinced me to stay
but because he didnt want me to..
it hurt me so much when he told me up front
"i cant have kids ruining my life, even if they are mine"
i've never admitted to myself how much it hurt me until now.
until today.
until i realized how much guys tend to hurt me.
like i find it horrible that my dad doesnt know a single thing about me.
from the smallest things like
my favorite color,
or what i wanna be when i grow up
to the big stuff like
my age.
he doesnt remember how old i am.
like thats not okay
hes my dad,
yeah he wasnt there when i was born,
but im sure he got a call
like was i really that BIG of a mistake!?
and yeah, fer the first time,
ive finally admitted to myself,
and to everyone,
that i was the mistake child.
its not that big of a deal
but like it sucks knowing that
you were the kids the parents didnt really want.
im sure my moms greatful fer such amazing kids,
but still i always keep that in the back of my mind.
today me and martin talked about things that have been on my mind fer a while
i dun even know if we ended the conversation on a good note,
i dunt know if its okay to text him tomorrow,
i dont know if were ever gonna talk again.
its obvious that i was just a back up.
he practically told me so.
the way he makes everything sound,
its like... i dunno.
i just have high doubts in us ever getting back together
and at this point i dont even care.
like im just so done, waiting around,
waiting fer my heart get broken.
thats all im really doing,
just waiting around for him to wake up and realize
that he never loved me,
and that hes done with him.
nmaybe its better it ended this way.
everythings out on the table,
nothings left inside of me to say to him,
and now, im okay to move on without feeling guilty.
when my mom gets home im gonna talk to her about
going to the district offices and let me transfer
to McCallum high
possibly not my freshman year
but fer sure sophomore and up.
i just want to go to a school thatll actually get me further in life.
like im not doing anything with Tech.
so why would i go to New TECH ?!
Mccallums got a great arts program so i mean
why not just go there right??!
*****************
Brianna**
New Laptop, AND: -Nilsa
So most importantly, I do indeed have my own computer! Oh how nice it feels in my hands...
However, less importantly, I also dumped matt a few days ago. You know what? I'll just show you part of the conversation. Keep in mind that I had already confronted him about needing to pay more attention to his so-called girlfriend.
...
Damn.
I can't copy and paste.
Basically, his sister wrote to me and told me that he's not "sooooo busy" like he said he was, but that really he just stayed up all night gaming and spent the day getting his beauty rest.
I wrote back and said thanks, waited an hour, went back, and replied: By the way Matt, it's over. I waited way too long for just one phone call. Like I said, I'd like to stay friends. That title at least has less responsibilities.
To which he replied with the classic, "well what ever"
Jerk.
I guess he's just the kinda person who's only normal face-to-face, which is the opposite of what you'd expect.
I also tried to contact my father again. Turns out he changed his email prior to me confronting him last time. Which, I might add, he didn't reply to. I just have bad luck with guys.
However, less importantly, I also dumped matt a few days ago. You know what? I'll just show you part of the conversation. Keep in mind that I had already confronted him about needing to pay more attention to his so-called girlfriend.
...
Damn.
I can't copy and paste.
Basically, his sister wrote to me and told me that he's not "sooooo busy" like he said he was, but that really he just stayed up all night gaming and spent the day getting his beauty rest.
I wrote back and said thanks, waited an hour, went back, and replied: By the way Matt, it's over. I waited way too long for just one phone call. Like I said, I'd like to stay friends. That title at least has less responsibilities.
To which he replied with the classic, "well what ever"
Jerk.
I guess he's just the kinda person who's only normal face-to-face, which is the opposite of what you'd expect.
I also tried to contact my father again. Turns out he changed his email prior to me confronting him last time. Which, I might add, he didn't reply to. I just have bad luck with guys.
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