*sigh* - Lauren

Sorry for the spam... but damn.
I'm getting tired of living with the bitching and griping.
Dad's now chewing jim out for the things I mentioned in my last post.
Dad came home and was all grumpy and shit then found out all this shizz.
I'm getting so.. so tired of this.

I guess I'll go try to sleep.

Life as we know it - Lauren

It's been a while. Life is decent, but there are some things I wished I could change...
I don't sleep much, not with Scare. So I'm always dead tired and really slow. I wish there was a way to do scare and still sleep. ><

Our house stinks - our water heater is broken and has been since this summer, and we aren't the best at keeping on top of things, so the dishes stink. I hate living in a house full of guys... It sucks. they are all slobs, and yet bryan (my uncle) always yells at us for not cleaning up. My dad isn't so bad, he hates things being dirty, he just doesn't have the time or particularly care enough to do things himself. He always has me or my brother do it when he's not doing anything in particular anyways. It's ridiculous. And my brother's just a sloppy whiny emo kid who needs to do his laundry more than once a month and shower more than only when his hair starts to get all sticky.

The house work doesn't get kept up because I don't have time to do everything myself, so nothing gets done. I hate it, it stinks, but... What can I do? I'm already not sleeping much... I don't have any choices but to just suffer... I can't wait to move out. I really can't. Yeah, it comes with all sorts of adult changes and living in the real world, and all that shit, but... As much as I love my family, I can't wait to not have to be around so many moody guys all day every day. >< Man, and they think we're bad. O.o

Montanna and Mike broke up last week, she came home to her stuff all packed and his status on facebook was single, and she (for the first time ever) after some debate (he's full of it - he's all "Well it's your choice if we're still together or not") she just said fuck it and left, and then an hour later he calls her and begs her to come home, he was wrong... all that shit. She's now staying back at their apartment, but didn't exactly hurry to put her facebook status back from single, she's not paying as much attention as before, she's hanging out with other people more, and he's not taking it so well. But honestly, he wasn't giving her room to be a teenager, and she wasn't ready to be an adult. She's 20, and he's twice her age. I'm sad that they are sad, but really i think it's better for both of them that they don't mend bridges and get together again, they just don't... mesh really. It just doesn't work.

I feel like I'm losing some of the all around niceness i was so known for... Once someone's broken my trust I really couldn't care less for them... And I feel bad for it, but it's true.
This morning in the hallway after the bell rang, we were slowly making our way to the doors with the crowd, and I passed AM&AN sitting together in the hallway, and when I glanced that direction AM's face was all pinkish and she had this look on her face, the one I knew from when we were really close as the one she makes just before she starts crying... and I didn't feel anything. I felt like I should feel bad, feel something, but.... I just turned away and kept walking. I feel really bad for it, but... She broke the friendship through all her lies and unwillingness to improve her own life, move forward, and fix the things she wanted to desperately to complain about. I have more sympathy for strangers than I did for someone who used to be one of my closest friends at that moment. I feel bad that I don't feel worse, but... I just can't make myself feel like she doesn't deserve anything she gets for the lifestyle she's chosen... She lied and lost all of her true friends who really cared, and now has a whole host of people who doesn't really care and are all out for their own self interest... I wish I could say I didn't think she deserves being kicked out of her house, I wish I could say I miss her, I wish I could say I wish we were still friends, but I can't... I don't believe any of it... I just can't make myself care anymore.

Camp - Lauren

So, I just got home from camp. Home from a week at Nilsa's house. Home from a week of real food, hot showers, and females. I get home and immediately dad's griping and already we're cleaning house. I started feeling sick, so I'm in my room right now... But yeah. I wasn't even home yet and last night he was lecturing me. >< It was just a bit tiring. BUT Despite that... This week has been the best week... Possibly ever. XD
Sunday I met up with Nilsa Ben and Holly at the UU Church for setup, then Nilsa and I went back to her house and hung out, watched Dr. Horrible, had Ice Cream, caught up. ^_^ Monday was the first of five days of camp, and I spent the week with Destry cuz He was Head Boy and I was Head Girl. =) He wasn't there Wednesday, and I was really bored cuz I had to wander around without a real Job alone. >.> Boriiiing. Lol. But the rest of the week was prettymuch amazing. <3 Monday was Diagon alley, kids got cloaks, robes, bags, coins, wands. ^_^ Destry helped with Quiddich and I helped with Chess(Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday). Tuesday was the first day of classes, We helped in the potions room getting rid of the nasty potion they made, all shorts of nasty stuff caked onto the bottom, and it STANK thanks to the dragon's blood (Cabbage Juice) In it. >< Wednesday I re-knotted blankets for greyhound pets of america that the kids messed up, thursday we helped with Dry Potions, which was edible stuff, and the kids were crazy and hyper and it was hilarious. XD Geordi made an Instant Purging Potion, which was awful, Destry tried it, and if he'd had the whole thing... I think his potion would've worked. Smelled like Vomit and Tuna, tasted like vomit and cough syrup, looke like soupy pink vomit. >< It was DISGUSTING. Lol. ^_^ Yesterday the four of us original promises had a little reunion and left Francesca a Message with Livin on a Tiger on it, I love the others too but it was really nice to have the four of us together again. ^_^ Destry and I after then when class started wandered around, blew up water balloons in the most fail way possible, saw the stars in the astronomy tent. =3 it was fun, then there was the great feast, kinda gross bean soup and bread and butter the kids made (so we didn't get any, cuz we didn't make any ><) then all the prefects got to hang out in room 11 (our room), and Vicki got us pizza, and we had an amazing time. =) We're all really sad it's over... but we DON'T plan on waiting another year to all get together like last time, NoNoNo. Not again. We're already trying to plan one. ^_^
Nilsa and I had a lot of really girly giggly chats about... Well girly stuff. =O Liking people, things we wish guys  knew (Which our whole huge group actually ended up talking about yesterday), everything. ^_^ It was prettymuch awesome. Sam and I never really had talks like that... She's not like that.
Nilsa is pretty much like the little sister I never had. ^_^ Andi came in one day and told Nilsa and I that our mom was here, and It made me smile. I like her mom a lot more than my own. >< To tell the truth it would be pretty amazing to be a part of that family, it's so comfortable and there's far less DUDE than in mine, I live with three sloppy guys and a male cat, I get real tired of trying to explain certain things to dudes, or like... I dunno. Sounds emo and cliche, but I don't really mean it in that way, it's just that they don't get me, what guy REALLY gets girls? some people get individual girls, but not like... ALL girls. >< I dunno, My family tires me out. I love them, but It was really nice to have a break, and I wish it wasn't over quite yet. >.> (That makes me feel kinda bad to say it, but it's true.) I sometimes think they wouldn't really function without me, my brother is a lazy emo kid who sleeps all day and won't get up unless there's something in it for him or when he wants to get up. My dad is usually depressed and snaps at people all the time, he has lost prettymuch all faith in humanity,  he gripes and complains.. My uncle is a hermit who doesn't like to be around people much... He would far rather talk to people on WoW than in real life. It's ridiculous. So... Being with calm, happy, Girls all week was nice. I fit in at their family. I really enjoyed it. ^_^
I've never had a song in my head for more than like a day.. MAYBE two. But I have had a song in my head ALL week. Catch Me by Demi Lovato... It's really catchy and sweet, the lyrics are clever, and I just have to get over the fact that she's a disney channel star. >< I'm like... In love with this song. =) Nilsa showed it to me and it's so sweet. It's like... really true too. At one point I was singing the chorus quietly to myself and there's this part that goes 'But you're so hypnotizing, you got me laughin while I sing you got me smilin in my... Sleep' and It's so true. It happened to me, when I was singing it. ^_^ and There was much smiling done. ^///^ It's just an adorable song I relate to, and it's been stuck in my head all week. But I guess i don't mind too much. <3
So, basically... Harry Potter Camp? best thing ever.
And  if she ever reads this....
Holly... GET OUT! XD Lol
<3

Father's Day -Nilsa

In my personally opinon, fathers day is a lot like tomatoes. Like... tomatoes are awesome! They protect against cancer, they're great for you, and basically, they're a marvelous thing entirely. But somehow, by my taste, they're just... not good. They gross me out and they have a weird flavor. I'm happy for those people who like them... those people who eat tomatoes, and have dads to love. I love it that they have that, but... it's not for me. I can't really help but be grumpy.

why is everything soo good right noww? -Brianna

im gonna have to let it go in 2.5 days. theres no problems with me and Jason, what little drama happened this year, is fixed. all the people i care about, are with me. but in just 2 and a half days i have to let it go. i have to let some people go. i dont even know if me and jason are going to high school together. will i cry on the last day of school? yes.. mostly of fear of not seeing him again and having to break up. see, i dont do long distance relationships. they're stupid and hardly ever work. like the friends im not going to high school with i have their numbers, i know where they live *nd if i dont ill figure it out ;)** we all have facebooks, myspaces, and twitters. but Jason.. its harder letting him go cause i love him. i mean yeah i love my friends but its a different kind of love. and like lately hes super sweet. like, for example, i asked him what he was gonna do for the three day weekend, and he replied saying "think about you mostly" :) last night around 9:30, he texted me out of the blue and wrote "ily for ever" today we've been texting and talking as much as we can. i know durring the summer we can plan to meet up but its harder because my moms supper strict now because of my sister. i mean im not complaining its just "i wish"... thats all i seem to be saying lately. "i wish we could hang out together" "i wish we could go to high school together" "i wish we could talk instead of text" "i wish rumors would stop spreading" i wish... but againn.. im not complaining, im jsut wishing.. anywyas. my weekend was alrightt, boring but good. right now ive got a head ache which sucks but i'll just take some Tylenol. well gotta go get ready fer school tomorrow, adios. oh P.S. jason says he might give me the surprise tomorrow :D if he does i'll blog during school. tomorrow is also the cast party, and im getting my shoes for graduation :D okay now im off byee!!

"Every time you're near
Trouble disappears
Under the ground
But when you go to far
Silver clouds will start hanging around
And I know why
Try to run
But I keep on
Coming back
Full circle
And I can't jump the track
Can't let you go"

Im Really Getting Sick of This. - Minz(haley)

I just need someone to vent to. To cry on. Because I'm
so sick of this... back and forth game we're playing.
This "I'm going to come see you" "Never Mind" game.
I'm sick of you putting everything before me. Im sick
of waiting for you. Its Endless. Im sick of not being in
your future. I know your education is important, but
is our relationship not? You know if you stay with your
dad it'll be impossible for you to see me until "you get
settled". That won't be until next year. I know I said
I can wait, and I know I can. I don't want to wait. Im your
girlfriend, I should be just as important. You shouldn't
make decisions only for you, because it'll affect me too.
But I know education is major to you. But then again, I
should be too. And I'm not. You have to realize that since
we are together, and it is a long distance relationship, you
can't just decide that you're going to stay with someone
who is as impossible as your dad. Because you know that
nothing is going to change. We didn't argue this much
when you are with your mom. But obviously that's not what
you want. To be with your mom. But know that if you choose
the wrong thing, you could possibly be putting our relationship
in jeopardy because there's only so much one person can take.
And you're pushing the limit with all these games. I'm supposed
to be in your future. But you can't only think of me in the long run,
you'd just rather have me suffer and wait so that you can do what
you have to do for only yourself? I don't know how much of this
I'm willing to take. I love you, but if you're willing to put me through
a years worth of wait, I don't know how much you love me. You
know that I hate the waiting. And you claim to be trying everything
to come see me. But somehow I don't believe that's the case at all.
I think you want me to think you're trying, so I can convince myself
to keep waiting. You know, I'm impatient. And I keep telling myself
to wait, but you and these " I might come see you " "Oh Im going to stay
with my dad. I'll see you next year" are killing me.