Life Hits You- Brianna

i know i always say "things happen fer a reason"
but really ??
something THIS big ?!
it isnt necessary.
i simply dont understand why it had to happen
and to us ??
and now ?!
this came at the worst time possible !
ive come to realize that you cant always be strong,
and that its okay to break down,
wanna know how i found this out ?
Life hit me.
it hit me right in the face
and it left marks.
marks that are gonna be permanent.
a few nights ago,
my dad called my mom,
apperently,
his girlfriend accused him of assault.
did he really hit her?
who knows i wasnt there,
but if he did, im not surprised.
well, anyways, he was arrested fer like 2 days,
and when he went back to work,
they fired him.
No more child support.
my moms thinking about cutting down our mins to 1000 a month *not bad*
and taking off texting.
like now that schools starting,
maybe its not such a bad idea,
but like still,
the reason why its happening is driving me crazy.
when my mom told me i got mad
she asked "are you upset that he got arrested or because he got fired"
honestly ?
its because he got fired.
he doesnt realize how important those $300 a month are to us.
he thinks we should get one check,
and thats it.
then hes done paying.
and theres nothing we can do about it.
isnt that like... crazy ??
my mom made a huge mistake getting married to him.
she deserved so much better.
is it bad that some times i blame my mom fer not having both parents ?
like i alwasy think,
that if she wouldve married Jake,
or just about any one else,
things would be better.
i mean i know i shouldnt blame her,
but sometimes its just like..
thoughts .
i dunno.
thats exactly why,
i dont plan on getting married til after college,
after im settled in in life,
after i get my degree,
so that if anything between me and my husband happens,
i have something to back me up.
me and possibly some kids.
and i know im not in any rush to get married,
so ill take my time and know that i really wanna be with this guy,
for the rest of my days.

Weird... O.o - Lauren

I'm sitting in my room listening to the people in the other room rant about my mother. Dan dropped by to say Hi, so the boys (Dad, uncle bryan, Jim (brother), and Dan) are catching up, and that involves a lot of the same conversations about my mother. The funny part is, I've had very similar exchanges with a few people, including Nilsa. What brings this up, is that the mother I haven't seen since September who didn't even bother to tell me she was getting re-married joined facebook and friended some of my dad's friends, so of course he saw her wedding picture on there, and he's been all weird about it since. But ya know. Same ol, Same ol. The only thing that really bugs me is that I have a lot of stuff set to friends and networks, and we have some mutual friends, so she's part of networks. It creeps me out to think of her going through all my photos and statuses. It's not below her, she's showed up at my choir concerts without warning and then snuck back out again without a word at the end. It's bizzare.

On another note... I went to the pool with my friend yesterday, I was on facebook chat and I just got a chat from him saying he wanted to go to the pool, and didn't like going public places alone cuz it seems sad, so I went swimming with him, and the moment I said I was going out Dad and Jim were both like where're you going who're you going with etc etc, which was fine until they both decided to ask favors. Dad wanted a ride to the store cuz our car is in the shop, and Jim wanted to go with us cuz Brandon wouldn't take him to the pool. I told dad I didn't really want to ask him favors, and when I resignedly said Jim wanted to go he said No. XD It was pretty funny. But dad, after I asked about Jim and he was begging me to make him let Jim go, Dad just said "Jim... A cute boy asked Lauren to go to the pool with him, we'll hang out, it'll be fine." I denied, He's got a girlfriend, and JIm was like "Yeah, he's not her type anyways." I was like... Whaaat? I have a type? and if I did, how the hellz would you know about it? But yeah. So we went to the pool, we hung out, I discovered that it is possible to cut yourself with half a foam football, it was fun. ^_^ Then he took me home, we wandered around my house for a bit, he didn't really want to return home cuz he's grounded, his parents let him go to the pool cuz it's exercise. But he left eventually, and when he did dad muted his game, looked over at me, and was like. "Lauren, I'm not saying he's an awful person who would cheat on his girlfriend or anything, but... He likes you. At least, that's the signals he's giving off." and he rambled a bit, I went back to my room, took a shower, and damn him but I couldn't stop thinking about it. X.X I dunno how that works, He has a girlfriend, he liked another friend of ours, but that didn't work out, they are both pretty, skinny, tan, not really at all like me. =P I dunno, stupid mental block that won't believe anything like that. Happened last time too. Montanna got all mad at me. =/ But yeah. So I dunno what's going on or if dad's right, but it's a nice thought I suppose. Also, he left his key in my bag, and still has yet to come back and get it. P=

Well... That's my update for ya. I'm really bored sitting here at home, but OMG I can't wait for Potter Camp. *heart* this should be so fun. =3 i'm really excited for it, I'm staying at Nilsa's, a week out of thr house with somebody so awesome is gonna be great. XD I love my family... But living with three very high-strung guys get a liiiiiittle crazy and grating sometimes. V.V But hey. Week and a half!

I'm out!
~~Lauren~~