The Dating Situation - Lauren

So John and I have been dating for a month now (as of yesterday). It's still very strange to me... I don't really know what to make of it. I guess I'm really behind on all this... It's a little sad really... But hey. I'm catching up. quite probably too fast for my liking. I spent the weekend with a bunch of scare people, camping out at Jarrett's parent's ranch out past san saba, and of course because it was a scare thing John was there, and it was an amazing weekend. Saturday night it got down to 23 degrees and it was cold as all hell, and Jarrett had set up a movie outside to amuse the teenagers while the adults slept, and John and I were curled up in a chair together to stay warm, it was really comfy, and I really enjoyed that part. I slept on his shoulder both two and a half hour car rides, up and back, it was nice. But... he came over for a little while on valentines day and things got... well lets say you put two teenagers who really like each other in a house alone, and guess what happens. We didn't go all the way but we got pretty damn close and it spooked me a bit...

This is going to sound really weird but... none of that sexual stuff really matters to me. Like, at all. I'm such a complete and utter hopeless romantic, I love all the dumb, romantic, sweet, whatever, stuff. I love the stupid heart fights and the endless compliments on both ends... I love hearing I love you and saying it back, But... The other end of it... Really I couldn't care less. Clearly he does care. But... I just don't know if I want to go there yet. But... It really doesn't seem to affect me much either way.

The only thing I'm really concerned about is how broke i am and I don't want to do Shit unless I know damn sure nothing's going to come of it that will affect my future. I may not know what I want that future to be yet, but I know damn well I don't want to be one of those girls, just graduated with an infant on her hip. I want kids and a family, when I'm older and after I've had a chance to live my life.

I feel kinda bad, he wants to do a lot of what some refer to I guess as sexting, and I really couldn't care less, but I'm working on my physics project and ranting here, I really didn't feel like going there right now, I just turned my phone off. I needed a chance to think. I suppose that's the problem with teenage boys.... and being me. I really just... Don't care. I guess I probably should, but... I don't. Is that weird...? I really don't entirely know what to do here... >< I guess I just kinda wish you could turn that part off. Just have the gooey yucky romantic stuff, without bothering with the rest, but... That doesn't happen. ^_^;; I guess I'll just have to figure out where my line is and what I'm comfortable doing, since it's not for me... Bleh. >< Stupid being complicated. :/

Aww - Lauren

"You know what else is awesome about you?" - John
"What? :O" - Me
"I've never wanted to say I love you so much to any one person before." - John

Awwww~ <3
^////^ So cute

Super Snow Day :D - Lauren

So I was sick all day yesterday, missed school, felt like crap.

I woke up this morning, and within like fifteen minutes I was having an awesome day.
I felt way better, School was canceled, and it was Snowing! :D

I love Snow, if I had to pick any one thing that reminded me of my childhood it would be snow. I moved a lot when I was a kid, so there aren't any places or people that work, But I grew up in Chicago and what else do Chicagoan think of but snow? :) I love Snow~

It was amazing. And my day quickly got better, John had the day off too so he came over around 11:30 and we went for a walk, I froze my toes off (slush got into my shoes), the fingers of the hand that wasn't holding his froze off, my nose froze, but it was totally worth it. :)
We came back and hung out, messed with my cat, and, yeah. XD It was just kindof weird because my brother was just sitting at the computer playing Bubble Tank 3, and it was weird. O.o it took him like an hour to get the hint and eff off. ^_^;; I suppose it's kinda weird for him because he and John are friends too, but... yeah. He needed to go. Lol. ^_^ It was pretty funny, at one point Jim walked out of his room to grab his bag with this look on his face, and went back into his room, and I said to John "I know that look, I'm never going to hear the end of this." and we laughed, and Dad sent me a message expressing his displeasure at my just leaving, even though I totally didn't, I said we were just going for a walk and would be right back, and I knew I was going to get yelled at, but the awesome thing is neither thing happened. :D

But Yeah... with the exception of Bryan, Jim and Dad bitching at each other constantly, today's been amazing. <3

Glad to be back - Lauren

I know over the last few months I've been dealing with a lot of shit and fighting getting into the dark place, but No more! I know maybe it seems silly, but This has done so much more for me than just getting a boyfriend.
John asked me out officially two weeks ago today, to which I of course said yes. ;)
The last two weeks have been pretty amazing, though it feel like sooo much longer than that. We've been on two dates and He came to one of the EPIC rehearsals.
We've texted every night from when I get home until one of us falls asleep (with the occasional internet fail on my part - but I ordered my new phone so by the end of the week I should be back in business! :D)
He's so sweet, I couldn't have imagined better. :)

But even more than just that I'm simply... Happy again. I mean, it's like it kindof restored my faith in myself and reminded me that I AM good enough, which I think I was starting to forget before. But now... I think even if this falls through (Which I don't think it will and I sincerely hope it doesn't) I'll be able to get back on my feet and live my life again.
I remember now how much I like being happy.
I really don't ever want that feeling to go away again.
I missed it, I just didn't know how much.
I feel like I'm finally back to being myself again. I wasn't ever that sad alone person, that's just not who I am. But this... I'm so much happier and when I smile all the time at school I'm not faking it, it's real and I love it.
I missed this... So so so much.
I'm glad to be back. :)

Best. Morning. Ever. - Lauren

So, First off Joe (who graduated last year) came to visit us this morning, which in and of itself is awesome.
But then. Oh, but then.
We were all hanging out and shizz, super excited at Joe being there, Then all of a sudden we hear this shout. "You don't Fucking say that Shit to me!" When we turned to look, Lyn had my brother backed against a wall and was yelling at him, then... She slapped him. As it rang out in the hall it was deathly silent for a moment then Stephen and Luke pulled her away, then she pulled free of them and took off down the hall towards the bathroom with these earth shatteringly loud sobs and slammed in. Which, in it's own right, was -Really- funny. I know that sounds mean, but I've heard her cry before, and I know it doesn't sound like that, and NO ONE Cries that Loud. The whole freaking building could hear it. And it's entirely possible that she was actually crying, but that almost makes it worse because she was actually upset then was STILL Milking it for all it's worth and her Attention-Whore ways still shine. >:/ But yeah. It was silent for a few moments, then hushed conversations broke out and everyone excitedly discussed, but before anyone got very far She was back. She started in on Ashley this time, Jim's Girlfriend. She walked up to her and said in the silence "Do you really think he'll make you happy?" She affirmed, and after some debate Ashley said something to the effect of "I think you should just leave the two of us alone" and Lyn so Classily replied "Why don't you make me!"to which Ashley started to get up and said "Don't tempt me!" I was a second from jumping in but Ashley's friend got there first and told Lyn she just needed to go. Now. She started to fight it but Stephen intervened and pulled her away again. There was ann unsure silence in the hall, unsure as to whether it was actually over, then I stepped forwards across the hall to where Jim and Ashley were Seated on the floor, and called Ashley's name. She looked up at me, a flicker of apprehension crossed her face, and I raised my hand for a high-five, a huge smile spreading across my face. relief filled her face and she returned the high-five, then I turned to my brother (who wanted one too) and Demanded to know what He said to her. He told me that Lyn had Called Ashley a Whore and he'd stood up for her, saying to Lyn's Face "Not like You are." Which set her off. He'd been cussing her out just like she had to him, but apparently it's OK for her to do it, and not anyone else. He stood up for his girlfriend, against his Ex-Girlfriend who was Clearly trying to get her hooks back into him. YES!!! Which is just amazing, because Ashley is just -so- sweet, and his last few girlfriends have been... Iffy. So I'm so glad he found one who is really cool. She has a ninja-turtles backpack. Awesome? I think so. XD We filled in everyone else as they arrived, everyone else is So sad they missed it, especially Shea, Chris (Who dated Lyn), and JD (Who liked her). None of which like her. I don't think she understands that really no one does after all the shit she started. we're just tired of her shit. All of us. Except Stephen and the line of guys lining up to date her. Which I really don't get, she dumps guys so fast you don't know he dated them, and is awful and needy, and it's so lame. =/ (Why can a girl like this get a million guys but I can't get one? Not fair. >< She's pretty, but bitchy and was prettier before she bleached her hair, now she looks sickly. >< I guess cuz she's easy. Jim's accusation wasn't wrong particularly, apparently she's had four pregnancy scares this summer. FOUR.) But yeah. Then I walked into my first period personal fitness class where I haven't normally got anyone to talk to, and Courtney (Who apparently is one of Jim's friends) shouts as I walk in "We have Victory!" and we spent most of the class talking about it. XD (Plus we didn't have to work out cuz of the rain! =D)
Chris and I, yesterday, had sortof an intervention for my brother. He was pinned against the wall by Lyn, and they -weren't- fighting. So Chris elbowed in between them and told Jim they needed to talk. He used a funny accent to make it silly, and used a funny analogy, but he was completely serious in his meaning. We were convinced we had to get him away from her. Especially since I like Ashley and she loves to give Lyn the Death Glare every time she talks to Jim. So... I guess it worked! Because I'm pretty damned sure that only a few days ago he wouldn't have stood up to her. He hasn't before when she was cussing him out. But today, not only did he stand up for his girlfriend, but for himself.
The only lame thing about this is, I was really proud of him, but I walked into choir the period after he has choir, and written on the board in clearly Jim handwriting was "Lyn, Go Die in a Hole. <3" and in what I think was Brandon's (one of Jim's best friends) writing was the symbol she draws on everything with a ( / ) over it and under it in little writing it said F*ck You! ><
So yeah. Other than that last bit... This morning?
Best. Morning. Ever.

last night...-Brianna

was very... debatable. i had so much fun with both Nilsa and Martin. but i have a huge feeling Riley didn't even try to go, and Martin was on the phone with Lexi, and doesn't trust me with his phone.

We went to Austin park and pizza. that's basically a teenagers heaven especially if you go with the right people. i myself am the stay at home and just hang out kind, but still i think i speak fer the three of us when i say it was a blastt!

okay so Riley. Nilsas boyfriend. he kinda isn't a good boyfriend, but he does his best nd that's all a girl asks right? well yesterday nilsa invited him to apap *Austin park and pizza** and he said he'll try to go. knowing him and knowing his parents, i don't think he tried. but i mean who knows. i know it would've been soo much fun with him fer nilsa.

Martin martin martin... Hes MY boyfriend. yesterday was the first time we've seen each other in two weeks, and the first time we've seen each other as a couple. isnt it kinda like "duhh" to stay off the phone on dates? i i thought it was. but he was texting the whole time so i pulled out my phone too. then he called one of my best friends alexis *aka lexi** he was on the phone with her fer a good thirty minutes. granted, we were just eating, but still thats thirty minutes he couldve been talking to me. so of course i got mad. it was hard fer me to hide it because my eyes would start to water a little. while still on the phone, he grabs my hand gently and asks whats wrong. i said nothing. hes not stupid. he knew there was something bothering me. i told him it was nothing so then he got mad that i wouldnt tell him and i got mad about him gettin mad. it was just a cycle.

Then there were times where i was the happiest person in the world. like when we first got there, we sat down in a booth and he sat against the wall and he pulled me close to him, his arm around my wait, holding my hand with the other one. and then after that little fight he pulled me closer again, and i put my head against his chest *he smelled amaaazingg** and i could he his heart beat and it was like something out of a movie. He had his first kiss with me yesterday and honestly im surprised im his first :) although there is a down side to thatt, hes kinda aggressive about kissing, but he'll learn :) one of the times we played Lazar tag it was just me him and Nilsa, and we played fer the first 3 seconds, then starting making out xD we sat on the floor, then i sat on his lap and although it sounds really slutty, it was amazing!.. or maybe that just means im a slut...

So the last game of Lazar tag we played, was just me and him... and his two brotehrs and dad whoe dont know about us going out. we managed two kisses in there. one was rough cause it was wquick, nd the other was suuuper gentel then i pulled away cause i thought his little brother was coming.. i was right. it was the last one i got, but i loved it so much

all in all last night was amazing