Why Now ?-Brianna

Why not when i was 2
why not when you and mom were married
why not when i needed you ?
why you you leave yer kids in the first place?
a divorce i dont care about
things happen fer a reason
sometimes it just doesnt work out.
but not even wanting yer kids in yer life?!
thats just.. crazy
thats a part of you.
and to not care if theyre okay or not
it blows my mind.
When you have three kids,
who need you the most,
and you just walk out of their lives,
and when yer two little girls need a dad growing up
to be that protective man in their life,
to have an example of how a boyfriend should treat you,
and to know what true love looks like,
and you just leave...
to me, its just as bad as murder.
you kill that little piece of hope in yer kids life,
you kill a little piece of their mother,
and if the mother inst financially fit,
you kill their future.
so out of a girls life she needs her father between the ages of 3-13
and on her wedding day
guess what ?
my dad left when i was 2,
and now when im one month from being 14,
he tries to talk to me...
over facebook.
whenever he does that
i lie to him.
for example i put on my facebook about how i have to put up my phone by 9:30
he asked why
i said because schools starting soon.
why would i tell him the truth ?
he doesnt need to be in my life,
i dont need him in my life.
infact i dont WANT him in my life.
my point is, why is it that when i dont need you,
you try to come into my life,
and try to act as if nothing ever happened
last time i hung out with him i was two
last time i saw him i was 8.
i was scared,
and in the end,
he didnt even want to give me a hug.
does that explain to you how much we "ment" to him ??
so why now,
that all three of us can take care of ourselves
and dont need anyone to help us,
why now,
does he decide to talk to me ?
its pretty damn clear isnt it ?

Life, For now - Lauren

So on Monday I went to Highland mall with Nilsa and Francesca, it was supposed to be a reunion of camp people... But the boys never showed up, so it was a girl's reunion. It was a lot of fun, a bit strange in the conversation flow, we would go from high pitched obnoxious laughter that chased everyone away from our awesomeness, to really deep important conversations. And it would fluctuate like that all day. P= The girls made me get my first casual dress since I was little (purplish pink and blackins gray tye-dye with a waistband in the middle - sale 7 bucks. XD), and my first pair of skinny jeans (white with gray kinda zebra stripes, but not really, and carefully planned rips - sale for 10 bucks lol.) I liked them both, but they insisted. XD Nilsa even said about the pants when I had tried them on with another shirt that the reason I hadn't gotten a date yet was because I didn't have that outfit. XD I didn't get the shirt, I firmly believe I need to be skinnier before I wear something that tight. =X but it was a fun day. Then instead of the movie we had planned on we retired to Nilsa's house, and we watched Ponyo which is an adorable movie. Then we were sad cuz Francesca went home, and she's moving to florida in a couple of days, and it's sad. Y-Y I ended up spending the night cuz by the time i got ahold of my dad it was late and he didn't want to get me, so I slept over and we had a strange semi-photoshoot cuz we felt like it. That was my first sleepover with Nilsa, and my first this summer. XD It was really fun, I had a great time.

Do you know that feeling where you know bad things happen in the world. They exist, you read stories about them. But... Until it happens to someone you know it never really sinks in how awful they are. I was in a weird mood all day yesterday because it was sinking in. Now nothing actually happened to my friend, but almost, and it's pretty damn scary to think about.

And now my dad just found a bag of my mothers makeup, (he asked me to take what I wanted and throw the rest away) and is clearly going to be in a weird mood all day and I still haven't gotten up the guts to increase his stress level even higher and tell him i found out my brother's sneaking out at night to go see his secret girlfriend... What am I to do..? =(